If I toss a coin, what are my chances of getting head?

Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I?

Merry Christmas

Just before I start, Merry Christmas to everyone, and have an enjoyable New Year's... Haven't been up to much, beyond Laser-Striking with 7th form mates last Friday... Hehe, that was rather amusing, since we finished and went out for a ride to town... Then we went to Mission Bay... You guys remember White Chicks? You surely would know the numerous scenes where the people sing Vanessa Carlton's "A Thousand Miles"... for some odd reason, we were doing that... perhaps the very late night and the fact that there were chicks in the car helped to bring that along... I'd recommend you guys to try it, with chicks of course... and turn it up so loud you can't hear yourself sing... the experience is shaming, and exceptionally hilarious...

I didn't get gifts for anyone, cos I don't do Christmas as a rule. I don't see any point in getting gifts for people especially if you don't feel like it, or you don't know what to get... It becomes an obligation at that point, and there's just no spirit in it, right? Well, can't think of any more to say, so ciao~ I'll write sometime...

5 days to Christmas

Not that I'm very much too concerned about it, since I don't need to buy many presents, and I can mostly do them last minute... Last few days weren't too bad... I stayed at Ben's for like Sunday, Monday, and went back on Tuesday, lol... I should learn to play tennis, otherwise it'll be such a waste of a perfectly good opportunity to play tennis in his courts ^^

Got myself board-shorts for like the first time in I-dunno-how-many-years... It's been fuck ages since I've worn shorts... Last time I wore them (uniform doesn't count), was like 8 years or so? But I thought a good change might be in order, so yeah... Why the hell not... Hehe, then I had a cyber-cafe session with some friends to play dota at like 1... Was mostly shopping till then... Jason was silly enough to come early (well, I guess I did tell him to come early, =P) and so I had to stop shopping, find him... And then proceed to more shopping, lolz... Went all over town just looking at stuff, if only Jase would have stopped being so damned uncomfortable being in places like Keith Matheson and Ermenegildo Zegna -_-"

DotA wasn't too bad either, except that everyone didn't really know how to play... One of them was getting better, Jase already knew how to play... and the other two were noobs when it came to it... Well, maybe that was a little mean... They were learning well, but ultimately, they all got pwn't like noobs... Disappointing, especially from Jase, who was supposed to be as good as me... Ah well, he did get better when I gave him HEAPS of bloody pointers... But aside from that, in my self-reflection, I'm still quite a noob, so they must be uber-noobs ^^ lawl...

Might be awhile before my next post, going away for the new years, which would be a welcome change from the boredom... And maybe, hopefully, it won't rain so much so I can enjoy the summer, which ain't happening cos of the stupid rain... Well, ciao~

Let's get these teen hearts beating faster, faster...

Story in six words...

This is hardly original... But I thought I'd do it anyway, a story in six words:

Didn't I say I'd catch you?

Back...

I'm really tired aye... Went to Dunc's yesterday, and just got back like now... Heh, it wasn't too bad... Jase and Ben, (other than Dunc) were there as well. We had like pizza, and I paid for half of it, Jase didn't pay, the darn bastard =P and we watched Goodfellas, which is quite a good gangster flick, if only it weren't a double sided DVD...

Then Ben busted out the weed, or was it before? I can't remember, but I did get a nice amount, we all did... Enough to get our dear eyes bloodshot... And I was drinking some Alize, I must say I really love it... It's delicious stuff... Didn't get enough sleep aye, so I should get summore sleep, cos I'm tired and all... Silly song by Kon-Tempt stuck in my head, "Lick That"... Heh, ciao~ Nightz.

It's OVERRRRRRRRRRR

Well, not really, but I just have one more, and it's on the f***ing weekend!!! ARGHH!!! So yeah, I might not go to it anyway... I can't believe I haven't even studied for any of them, come to think of it...

I got a letter from school telling me that I won prizes of some sort for the prizegiving ceremony. So I went to check it out, and apparently I won 1st in English and 4th equal in Stats, and some other stuff... Well, the only thing I care is how much money do I get for it? Otherwise I can't be bothered going, even if I get to shake the Prime Minister's hand again. She seriously has too much time, considering she's been to our school like two or three times this year already...

I should begin my jobhunt in earnest, aye... I kinda want the cash, come to think of it. Smith & Caugheys had tis 25% reduction of all their clothes and merchandise, which wasn't too bad... It's like 1/4 off CK, Armani (all the Armani's), Ralph Lauren, etc etc etc... You get the picture... Too bad I didn't find anything I liked (or could afford, I'm not thaaat rich =P)

I should get some sleep... I was so tired last night that a few shots of whiskey was enough to black me out completely... Luckily I had the decency to put the bottle away and climb into bed... Alright, ciao~

Study leave -__-;;

Yes, study leave actually began on wednesday, but I'm just lazy... This year is like the worst year for my exams... I've got 8 bloody exams!!! It goes as such:

Monday 20/11 Physics
Tuesday 21/11 Stats
Wednesday 22/11 English
Friday 24/11 Calculus Scholarship
Monday 27/11 Chemistry
Thursday 30/11 Biology
Friday 1/12 Physics Scholarship
Saturday 2/12 Stats Scholarship

Sigh... and I think I'll fail the scholarship exams... maybe i should just ditch them and settle for 5 exams instead... And studying is really really hard to do now that I'm leaving school... I really can't be bothered, even though i know i should, as my results affect my uni entry but still =\

Speaking of which, on tuesday, some yr 13 guy ran through the school stark naked... i didn't see him, but i hear he got caught, and was banned from going to the leaver's dinner... oh well... i haven't been doing much, save for some trips to the city, and sleep... it's unfortunate that the uni people i know are going off on their trips, since that means i have no one to go out with, as the majority of my classmates are off studying =\


Not much else to say... I should really study >.< Ciao~

School's ending...

Heh, it's been a very long time since I've written, been busy over the Guy Fawke's weekend and so forth, and yeah, never really found the time to write... School's officially ending tomorrow for us, although exams will start next week, which sucks alot... But yeah, it's kinda nostalgic really, I start to remember stuff that happened, and I begin to hang around/talk to others more... Don't get the impression that I'm a social recluse, but I usually am quite quiet.

I just found my school report after checking the mail today... Apparently we got them on Saturday, but oh well... didn't check, so didn't know... I'm pleased with my progress really, except that I think that my stats teacher wrote generic stuff for my report... "Gabriel's enthusiasm, diligence, and natural ability... a very conscientious and dedicated student who always works meticulously and steadily..." Well, I'd like to point out that I was hardly enthusiaistic about stats, nor close to diligent. Even saying I was dedicated is laughable, but I guess teachers can never be too sure, can they? And my Physics teacher contradicted that directly by saying I "lacked focus at times", lol... I suppose that's only too true, with the exception of "at times", I lacked focus most times! Hehe...

Prefect lists for next year's ... you guessed it, prefects... were out today. Frankly, I don't quite agree with some of the chosen prefects. Quite a few were really dumb (and obnoxious) pricks who I wouldn't have even considered, but then again, my prejudices get the better of me... They might have changed, who knows =\ It's a good thing I decided to leave next year, otherwise they'll be all sorts of strange prefects I'd have to contend with next year *shudder* ... Heh, I wonder if I should have tried for prefectship to see if I'd have made it... I wonder... Hmm... Ah well, too late now anyway...

School's ending tomorrow, bye Mt. Albert Grammar, I'll probably never see you again... Then again, I might, cos my friends will still be there =\ silly buggers who can't go to uni with me... Then again, it's probably better for them that way, otherwise they'll be 17 for the whole first year and miss out on all the alcoholic fun... =P

I forget to mention all the camwhoring that took place, as well as school shirt signing, but maybe I'll mention it later... Hmm, should I have gone for the leaver's dinner? Ah, bugger it, too late to buy tickets anyway, and b'sides, I don't have my dress pants/shoes for it =\ Bugger all... Ciao~

Nearly forgot this...

It's been nearly a month now since I last posted here, but considering that nothing much happened that I can remember anyway, oh well... The holidays passed rather quickly, I must say... I haven't got much done at all, and dad came over during the last two weeks... I didn't much beyond bring him places in Auckland, which ain't much 'cos it's rather dreary... And of course I got him to buy me booze... My friends seem rather shocked that my dad would be willing to buy me booze, but I frankly don't see the trouble/problem... Well, I guess I'm ignorant...

Today was a day like most others, boring, boring, and even more boring... And oh, I got Excellence for my Bio internal again, which I spent only an hour in class on, as opposed to everyone else (3 hours)... so, up yours, everyone... I think I'm getting more arrogant... But school's not helping... And I got Excellence for the English internal which I decided to resit... Well, only because the topic in question was my forte, that being fantasy novels, in which I could write the first chapter... I think it's really fun to do fantasy, must be because of all that books I've read...

Well, the other thing of note happening today... I was walking home (as I always do) when I kinda saw some person up ahead walking... Well, he (I think it was a he) had a cloak or coat of some sort on... It was a rather nice article of clothing, and I was looking for that to add to my winter wear for some time (don't ask why he was wearing winter wear in the middle of spring)... Well, the thing was, he turned right off into another road, and I turned into the other road too, as I was also going in that direction. However, when I made the turn, he was gone... And, well, you might not really see how I find that strange, but the thing is there is no way he could have walked that fast, and the only way he could go was down the road... So it was like he vanished, in a sense, as if he was a figment of my imagination... But then, was he? Maybe I was hallucinating, maybe I'm very tired, ah well... I noticed that my way of writing this blog has changed somewhat, but I'm not entirely sure how...

Crazy P!ATD song stuck in my head:
And isn't this exactly where you like me
I'm exactly where you like me you know...

I guess I should get going... Sigh, I should start studying for my exams soon, considering they're like my last for school... Ciaoz~

Monotonous boredom

Well, it's holidays, and I suppose I should be somewhat glad, right? But, truth to tell, it's rather dreary here... So monotonous, I wake up, brush teeth, etc, etc etc, then go online... then shower, then eat, then go offline... and perhaps shove in some research work... >.< I should organise stuff to do, but it's too much of a hassle for me these days, considering that I always end up doing the organising... I'm going to end up ranting again -_-"

Besides that, there isn't really much to update for my life so far, since I didn't do much except go to city to do some research... It's great since its spring... so much warmer, and i must be having spring goggles or something (think beer goggles)... Heh, anywayz, I must be off... Ciaoz~

TGI FRIDAY!!!!

It's the holidays...!!! Holidays!!! Yeah!!! I'm so high!!! Hehe, not going to tell you why =P ... In school atm, writing in my blog, which is really dumb, since they might trace it, but meh... I got all my exam results, and I'm pleased to say... I PASSED EVERY ONE OF MY EXAMS!!! YEAH!!! I JUST OWNED YOU, EXAMS!!! UP YOURS!!! WOOHOO!!!!

The split-up version of my results? Here: (E= Excellence, M= Merit, A= Achieved)
English:
Unfamiliar (E)
Visual Text (A)
Non-Shakespearean (M)
Shakespearean (M)

Stats:
Probability (E)
Probability Distribution (E)
Linear Equations (M)
Confidence Intervals (M)

Physics:
Electricity (E)
Mechanics (M)
Waves (E)

Chem:
Reduction-oxidation (M)
Organic (M)
Structure and bonding (M)
Aqueous Systems (A)

Bio:
Genetics (M)
Ecology (M)
Cells (E)

Yeah, I'm abit of a showoff =P but I'm drunk, so tooooooo bad!!! It's so fun now that holidays are beginning, I finished all my homework too, with the exception of Bio research... so yeah... I'm off to do some research in my semi-drunk state =P Typing this took me ages... Peaceout~

My day...

Haha, what a funny day today was... But first, the bad news... I got charged today for my careless naive surfing on the net... Woke up this morning to find my credit balance was: $ 0.00.... I got owned!!! >.<>.< But the upside was, I got a free drink, which apparently was due to release sometime soon, in celebration of halloween... The problem is the flavour... Pumpkin... Ewwwwwwwwww.... Imagine, 2 shots of espresso, with foamed milk for a latte, and with pumpkin syrup... Ugh.,... It tasted so much like pumpkin.... But it was free, so yeah...

Then we went off to Duncan's place, or rather, I got ditched there, cos Chris had to go home for abit... And I helped Duncan clean up the house a little... Well, actually, I kinda stood there most of the time, talking to him while he was cleaning out his room... =P And looking at his primary school photos =P He's so small... and kinda adorable, in a kid adorable way... y'know... I think he kinda resented me saying that, but it's honest fact =P Then Ben came, and Chris came abit later, and Jase couldn't come... oh well...

Let's just say the night passed rather quickly, and I pity the poor people on CS who were listening to what Ben was talking about on the mic... Let's just say, it was pretty... uhh... disgusting and wrong... But it was hilarious at the time he said it... LOLZ... I'm still laughing now... Hehe, home now, since I got a ride home with Chris ^^ Probably going to sleep soon... Ciaoz all~

My phone...

Its suprising how little you sometimes know about your own phone... For one, I knew I could use my phone as a modem, but not that it connects with theoretical speeds of 460 kbps!!! >.<>.< ... what I do KNOW is... I've been connected to it for about 25 mins now... so if they're going to charge... it's sooooo gonna cost me.... or perhaps they charge by the amount of packets received and sent... Either way, I'm pretty much screwed >.< >.< >.<

Nuuuuuuuu!!!! How does vodafone not have any info on this? Damn you, useless vodafone NZ >.< >.< ..... Gah... screw it, if I run out of credit, so be it...

It's over!!!

Yeah! Exams are soooooo over =D At long last, 7 days after it has begun, it is now finished... for the time being, that is... until like another 3 months or so >.< You know, I have this nagging feeling that I screwed up my exams, thinking it was comparitively easy when I had actually just given bogus answers... I guess I'll find out soon, aye? Holidays at the end of next week too ^^ The beginning of spring could not have been any sweeter =)

I guess I'm being cheerful since exams are over and all... But now I don't know what to do... I guess it's time for me to actively look for a job then... Maybe I should go and work in a cafe, even though pay's crap, but still, hey, it's a job, right? =P

Can't really think of much to say, unless you want me to go into the stupidity of me having to prove something in binomial theorem... -_-" Heh, and I got entered for an extra Scholarship subject, so I had to drop it before they charged me for taking more than 3 scholarship subjects >.< And I didn't even know until like yesterday, and the last date of payment was like tomorrow -_-" Great timing eh?

I guess I'll go now... time to finally relax, listen to music and all... Can't get the song by Orson - Bright Idea - out of my head... I guess it's going to be stuck for some time...

Here's my bright idea... I'll just disappear!

Heh, it's kinda a sad song when you listen to the lyrics... Anywayz, ciaoz~

Blogger beta...

Heh, I've switched to Blogger Beta, being the one who cannot resist all things new... I thought I'd be part of the crowd and try something new ^^ Aren't I unoriginal? =P

Two exams down today, and two more to go over the next two days!!! YAY!!! And then 1 week more of school followed by holidays!!! Heh, except that I'm feeling like I should get myself a job, except that I'm being fussy about jobs =\

Hmm, should study for Stats and Bio... Ciaoz~

The DHDFD'S

Yeah... Went to a gig last night... I don't know all the bands that performed... Two of them came from my school, the 80's Jacket Club and the Pink Fluffy Clouds... Hmm, and the DHDFD's... 6/7 bands/people performing in total... and it was not too bad ^^ Only thing I could say is I wish there were more people... Like perhaps 2-3 times the amount...

Quite a few eye candy to feed on, heh... But apart from that, it was good fun... ^^ the music was rather good, and it only cost me $10, so it was cheap... Went with jase and bee, and well... chris was performing, so he was there, in a sense... We did dance, nearly everyone, down in the centre... Gosh, it was... umm... rowdy? I got pushed all over along with everyone, but it was good... only two bad things mainly:
1) I broke my jacket button!!! ='(
2) My shoulders and legs are reallll sore >.<

And now I'm off to study for... Chem, Phys, Calc Scholarship, Bio, Stats... in that order... English was horrrrrrrribleeeeeeeeee.... I think I failed two out of three of my essays... Man, I hate Arthur Miller... and I hate BladeRunner... ARGH!!! >.< Peaceout~

Friday

Well, made this post a lil' late, but yeah... Was kinda busy last night, so...

Saw Silent Hill with chris yesterday... Well, it wasn't going to be just us, but things came up, so >.< Hehe, it was actually not too bad, just four main issues imo:
a) there is no story, and so the movie goes to crap after a while
b) similarly, there are characters, but you know almost next to nothing about some of them
c) extremely gruesomely disgustingly revoltingly bloody, especially the mortality scenes at the end
d) dumb ending... what do you mean she's STILL in the alternate reality?!
but yeah, it was otherwise perfectly fine, it managed to convey the mood pretty well, and pyramid head looked perfect for a scary movie parody ^^

Earlier on Friday, jase found (actually stole from the idiotic Chem teacher ^^ =P) mini Post-Its... and hilarity ensued... =D Perhaps 'cos it was a Friday and all that... We stuck Post-Its that read "I sat on a POST-IT" on people's seats in assembly so when they sat down it'll be on their asses... LOLZ... Call me silly, but that was rather amusing for a while...

Can't believe exams are starting next thurs... And I haven't studied!!! Arghh!!!! I somehow have a bad feeling about my exam results for this term, which can't be good... considering they're my forecast results to get into engineering next year... >.< -_-" *sigh* I hate stats, and english too... DAMN YOU OTHELLO!!! Why couldn't we do manga as literature? It's so much easier... just go copy and paste for the picture... and voila! Done!!! =P

Heh, wasting precious time not studying, so better at least start revising Stats, or Physics, or Bio, or English, or even Scholarship..... stress.......

Ciaoz~

Windows Live Writer

Yeah, at the moment I am not on the blogger webpage, I'm just typing my good ol' post by the programme named above... It's really cool, it actually saves you time, and it's rather simple to use too =)

You know, someone told me today that I contradict myself... Well, I suppose I do, but then if I didn't it'll be too easy to read into what I think wouldn't it? =P And 'sides, it's not hard to tell what I'm being honest about, it kinda follows a pattern, if anyone's smart enough to spot it =P

Can't think of anything more to say, it's just a random post anyway... Cool... This porgramme's rather good...

Small talk...

Have you read kennysia's small talk for I'm-not-sure-when? it goes...

Short Talk:

I love it how The Star have so much puns in their headlines. In response to the Thai sex worker boom in Kelantan, one headline went: "Hard to go after prostitutes, say authorities"

Hahaha, that was good...

Did the how un-Malaysian quiz by kennysia as well... it's link? http://www.kennysia.com/archives/2006/08/how_unmalaysian.php
It was quite funny I must say... except that I'm 70% un-Malaysian... and that comes as a suprise... I especially didn't like him saying I was as un-Malaysian as Guy Sebastian... ugh... no thanks...

I even did the one by The Star Online, since it was kindly hyperlinked by Kenny, and I was given something like 25% Malaysian or something, another really low number... *sigh* Guess I'm not meant to be that Malaysian after all...

Poetry.com?

Apparently, there is a website on poems that helps you rhyme words to create your poem... Personally I think that is really dumb... If you wanted to write a poem, you shouldn't need to find words that rhyme, just use your intuition... Plus, who ever said that every poem had to rhyme? Unless it was a sonnet of course... Heh, and somehow kiwis seem to think of poem-writing as emo... I find that personally amusing... in that case I must be emo... somewhat...

I wrote a poem as an accompaniment to my short story, you know, like how some books have little poems in between... I kinda filched the idea from Kubo Tite's (mangaka of Bleach) red and white poem... although his was more of the similar traits between red and white; ie, blood and bone, solitude and silence... etc etc etc... mine was more tailored to my story, to do with contrasting white and black, or light and dark... I planned to have a counterpart to the story, like a part 2, with a poem starting with black, but that was lame... so I scrapped it... I also rewrote my story, yay! Fixed coveration irregularities staring me in the eye, and added more mythologically vague references that seem to intrigue everyone, myself included... I guess no one actually noticed them, although they were there, like the seven towers, the gates of pearl, so on and so forth... Also made it less obscure, as it could have meant a whole host of things before... Someone remarked to me that it could have been about the reincarnation of someone... Wow, completely unexpected... >.<

Anyway, this is the poem I wrote... it's a little on the emo side because of black and white imagery... Should I have used pearl instead of ivory at the start? Hmm.... Here goes...

White like ivory
Black like jet
White like life
Black like death
White like solace
Black like succour
White like reverie
Black like slumber
White like the purity of the blameless
Black like the sins of the past
White like slow, unforgiving ash
Black like fast, unyielding mire
Even so that within the harsh light
Was ever the absolute darkness

Well, perhaps I should stop writing crap and start studying... Ciaoz~

Life's a whirlwind...

And I'm lucky enough to be caught splat in the middle of it... School's got drama, I tell you, if you pay attention... It's interesting to watch people do reenactments of the OC for you, with different people, and different twists to each resolution... I think I'm seriously starting to lose it...

School exams starting next Thurs, and somehow I don't think I'm going to do too well for this one... It's just a sense of foreboding you get, like the calm before a storm... I feel so unmotivated to do it, even though I have just about every single one there is, such as the fact that its my forecast results for uni... But still, it sometimes feels so pointless... We go about our daily lives, trying to redefine our identities with acts, placing on multiple layers of fascades, all to advance ourselves through life... And what does it bring us? Nothing more than the fruits of our labour: more labour... Life is ironic in a twisted way... But we still find enjoyment in its pointlessness... Perhaps I really do think too much... Is it really a gift to be so? I think not.

On a lighter note, I went to Auckland Uni's open day on Sat, gosh it was more fun than I thought... I saw this really pretty chick at the Fine Arts lecture (yes, she was really fine); but I didn't get to say anything more to her, because I left early for another mini-lecture... Sigh... on hindsight, I should have talked to her at least... Oh well... tabula rasa... And then I was talking to Sam bout it, some 7th former ^^, and we were walking along the Engineering block. Walking in front of us was some random chick from uni who was kinda like a tour guide/walking information counter (being very loose with terms). And it went like this:

Sam: So, did you see that girl in the grey jacket again?
Me: Nah, didn't see her since... Too bad, you know, that girl was so damn hot...
(Random chick turns around)
Chick: Wha?
Me: No, no, not you! (with palms outwards in rejection gesture)

Ooooh burn! Hehehe, didn't realise the implication and weight it carried until it left my mouth... After which I laughed it off with her, then proceeded to crack up when she was out of sight... LOLZ, maybe my humour's just shallow, but it was entertaining... One of the highlights of that day... I should have forgone the Engineering lectures... no chicks to look at/befriend whatsoever... Should have gone to Law/Arts/Fine Arts/Architecture/Commerce, where all the chicks somehow seemed to be naturally attracted to... It's like a geographical and academical double-whammy styled chick magnet... And that was more or less Saturday... Forgot to take pictures of the girl too =\ and of everything else... so oh well... too bad aye?

Ciaoz~ Gotta do my english essay for Othello... I really hate it now... Such an annoying play...

TGI Friday!!!

Yes, I really mean it... Such a BORING week at school, if it continued, I'd really go crazy... Why? Mainly because of this idiotic Bio reliever-teacher we had (teacher was away for two days), who kept bitching about me not doing my work and not bringing my books... I mean, jeeeeeeeeeeez, I'm not bringing my books to Bio for a reason, and my Bio teacher knows better than to lecture me about it... All I'd have to do is wave my results in his face and he'll shut up, if he actually does start... Hmm, I sound so up myself, but yeah, that's what you get when you get placed into a stupid Lvl 2 bio class, when you're very well CAPABLE of Lvl 3 or perhaps even Stage 1 (uni)... Gah!

But that aside, I was extremely happy and pleased to learn that I have scored myself two Excellences for my English internals ^^, one for my 15-minute impromptu lecture, and the other for my done-in-two-hours report, oh yeah... feel so good for myself \^o^/ Plus, they were apparently marked very strictly, an added bonus to my already much-inflated ego... This can't be good for me, but it feels good ^^ Hurrah! Beat at least 95% of the Yr 13 classes... Shame!

There's this song that's been out for ages, and for some odd reason I can't seem to get the words out of my mind... So yeah, have you heard Breathe (2 AM) by Anna Nalick? I thought it was quite meaningful, around the time I was listening to You Only Live Once by The Strokes... but yes, the lyrics for Breathe (2 AM) follows... Perhaps that'll get it out of my mind...

Anna Nalick - Breathe (2AM)
2 AM and she calls me cause i'm still awake
"can you help me unravel my latest mistake
i don't love him, winter just wasn't my season"
yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
like they have any right at all to criticise
hypocrites, you're all here for the very same reason.

cause you can't jump the track
we're like cars on a cable
and life's like an hourglass glued to the table
no one can find the rewind button, girl
so cradle your head in your hands
and breathe, just breathe, oh breathe, just breathe

May he turned 21 on the base of Fort Bliss
"just a day" he said down to the flask in his fist
ain't been sober since maybe October of last year
here in town you can tell he's been down for awhile
but my God it's so beautiful when the boy smiles
wanna hold him maybe i'll just sing about it

cause you can't jump the track
we're like cars on a cable
and life's like an hourglass glued to the table
no one can find the rewind button, boys
so cradle your head in your hands
and breathe, just breathe, oh breathe, just breathe

there's a light at each end of this tunnel
you shout cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
and these mistakes you've made
you'll just make them again if you'll only try turnin' around

2 AM and i'm still awake writing this song
If i get it all down on paper it's no longer inside of me
Threatening the life it belongs to.
And i feel like i'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary screamin' out aloud
And i know that you'll use them however you want to.

But you can't jump the track
We're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand, yeah breathe
Just breathe, oh oh breathe, just breathe, oh breathe
just breathe, oh breathe, just breathe

Fictional Essay...

Right, I'd be happy if someone could give me their opinion on this... I wrote it about 3-4 months ago, this is its original version, which I actually wrote later, since the first was rather abrupt and confusing, according to some people who read it before... If you want the first version, which is shorter, but I can't remember how much shorter, probably just 2-3 paragraphs less, leave a comment or something with your email address if I don't have it... Enjoy~

The Angel That Slumbered

Darkness. Shrouded in peaceful quiet, enclosed in the shadows, the darkness that was absolute within itself, he slumbered within the eternity that was time; the silence entombing him in endless rest. Even as he slept, the darkness stirred. A presence, a manifestation, the embodiment of a will, was suddenly with him, where before only darkness and darkness alone kept his company. It approached him, but moved no closer to him in the material world, for it was only the will that approached his own.

“Rise, awaken, and slumber no more, Izariel. You do not belong here,” it said.

He stirred from his reverie. The darkness was ever comforting in its familiarity, beckoning him to return to tranquil sleep. Awareness flooded his being, the consciousness that was thought, the clarity that was memory, threatening to engulf his mind. He shied away from the clarity, shutting it out of his mind.

“Who are you? Why do you interrupt me in my slumber? I am not Izariel, seek him elsewhere, and leave me to my rest.”

“Do you not remember, Izariel? Perhaps your long self-imposed exile has caused you to forget yourself. Why don’t you let me help you?”

A small orb of light materialized into being, seemingly coalescing from the darkness itself; hovering close to his face. He turned his face from its dazzling brightness, unable to look into its painful glare. The slightest sliver of a remembrance slipped into his mind, of glimmering towers of lapis lazuli, and a sea of purest gold.

“What is this?”

“It is your destiny. Be not afraid, Izariel, it will aid in your recovery, if you are willing.”

“I am not Izariel.”

“Very well then, he who is not Izariel. If you are not he, who are you, and where do you come from?”

He struggled to remember, but found nothing in his mind to give indication to his identity. Pain lanced through his temples, and he grimaced.

“I do not know, but I am certain I am not he you speak of.”

“You don’t sound so certain yourself. But enough of this, will you accept your fate? You have slumbered long, and the time draws near. Come; look into the light once more.”

He turned back towards the orb, and observed it tentatively. Its nature was completely unknown to him, but yet something about it seemed familiar, although he was unsure what. As he studied it, he noticed that darkness, perfect, absolute darkness, lay in its centre. Intrigued, he drew closer. The shadows around him danced, fading in intensity; and more images, strange and yet familiar, invaded his thoughts. Pain stabbed in his head, and he gasped in the suddenness of it. Panicked, he backed away, falling to the ground, hiding his face from it. The shadows ceased their movement, once more enveloping him and the orb in darkness.

“It hurts, I don’t want to remember. Please, just leave me alone, I don’t want to remember, it hurts too much,’ he whimpered, pleading, almost sobbing.

“You must persevere. Face your past, for it is a part of you, and you a part of it. Seek not to escape it, for it will consume you otherwise. Courage, have heart, for you shall not fail in this. Fasten your resolve, and you will make it through the pain of memory.”

“But I am afraid, afraid of them…”

“Do not be afraid, for you are only at the beginning. Walk the path, and the journey shall be easier with time. Embrace your destiny, for the time is at hand. This is all I can do for you; the rest is for you to decide.”

With those words, the presence faded, and the darkness was his sole companion once more. But the orb remained, in its blinding brilliance, like the essence of stars purified; the darkness within as enthralling as the light itself.

Once more, he turned back, regarding it thoughtfully. Then slowly, cautiously, he stretched out his hand towards it. The shadows began melting away, fading into light itself, until all around him was the same enthralling, blinding brilliance as the orb before. The darkness within that was the orb’s core yet remained, and his hand continued towards it inexorably, as if drawn by the strings of a puppeteer.

More images came, though recognition did not follow. The pain threatened to engulf his mind, but he pressed on, his face set in a mask of grim determination. He closed his hand around the strange orb that was both darkness and light, and in his mind he heard a voice, warm and yet cold:

“So, you decided to return. Come, embrace your past, and learn the paths you shall walk once more, for the time of your choice is fast approaching...”

Memories, memories of himself, memories of her, with flowing hair and eyes of brilliant blue, filled his mind. He saw her, and in that moment, all that had happened before. He saw seven towers of lapis lazuli overlooking a shining city across the sea of gold. He stood before twelve gates of pearl; he stood before ten spheres inscribed upon a wall in an arrangement he did not know. But through it all, he saw her, talking, running, laughing, crying; he felt both joy and sorrow as he watched her, in a tangle of bittersweet emotions. He saw her lying in a field of white and black flowers, him walking through the field of black and white, approaching her still form. He saw himself pick twelve flowers, six black flowers with white in its centre, and six white flowers with black through its centre. He saw himself laying the flowers upon her breast; he saw the tears that fell from his own face, onto her cheek, still and lifeless.

The memories now were beginning to overwhelm him, but he embraced them and made it a part of him. Tears of pain and grief formed at his eyes, and he slowly faded away, becoming fainter and fainter till he was like darkness and light entwined in eternal embrace. Then he was gone, as was the orb, as if they never were. The light, completely devoid of shadow still remained. A single tear, crystal clear and glistening, hovered, enclosed by an enthralling orb of darkness, within which lay a bright dazzling light…



EDIT: I've updated this story, fixing some bits, I didn't add the poem, however, since it was kinda an aesthetic touch... Perhaps I'll add it when I perfect the poem...

Gah, screw it

Did I ever mention that I did not expect my life to suddenly turn to hell because I decided to try for Scholarship? ARGH!!! I still have 3 more 3-hour long past year papers to complete by Tuesday, and I'm so lacking motivation... which is rather ironic, considering that I and my corresponding year (Yr 12) just went for some half day motivational seminar thingy... which I thought was crap personally. It didn't help me any more than just advise me to do stuff I already know... Yeesh...

At least everything else is falling nicely into place, with the exception of finding a good part-time job and making sure I understand every damn bloody aspect of Physics. It's rather an annoyance I find, since I can't really remember everything I bloody well should... Sigh... And English too -_-" Ahh well, I'm taking the day off... Going to church later tonight... Ciaoz~

Careers!!! LOLZ

Heh, today at form period we had this careers thing, NZ society must be very concerned about the future career paths that their young children will take (personally, I think it's all a sham the military uses to get them to join the army... Join the ARMY!!!) Hehe, I will explain that shortly, but onto the career thingy... It appeared that we had to answer a whole lot of questions, expressing our interest in working the said material, or said subject, and so on, you get the picture, right?

After what I believed to be 70-ish questions (where my responses ranged from not interested to fairly interested, like 5 to 3 on a scale of 1 to 5), I got the answers... Guess what they recommended me to be... A Gynaecologist!!! O.M.G...... I mean, seriously, and this recommendation went under Skills... LOL!!! It was such a crackup, that I seriously was LOL-ling when I saw it... And the next recommendation by skill? Surgeon!!! With my shaky as hands, you want me to be a surgeon? Hah! Oh, ermm, I'll just make an incision here, and whoops, looks like I spilled open your gallbladder... Right...

Like I wanted to be a gynaecologist at any rate, it would be really traumatising, you know... -_-" Heh, but it was so funny... And other people I saw had like army stuff, or related to army stuff over it (see! I was right about the military recuitment conspiracies =P) And the thing was the questionairre had like the most stupid question in it, like "How inerested are you in... guarding other people's belongings?" You mean, how interested are you in beng a security guard? Yeah, like totally interested!!! *rolls eyes* Or how bout this "How interesting do you find... Maori?" Hmm, yes I'm sooooooo totally interested in that....... Heh, being a little rascist, but I can have my freedom of speech in my little blog... After all, I have been nice to them all along and got shit for it, I deserve to be petty...

But putting past grievances aside, today was such a hilarity, and the thing is... We are going to continue over the next two form periods!!! WOW!!! I sooo need to learn how to be a gynaecologist! Or perhaps I should redo my questions and be a security guard!! Or better still, join the army!!! YEAH!!! THE ARMY!!! Nothing else really that significant to highlight, but I'm missing my holidays =( Alright, time to get some work done, or attempt... Ciaoz~

it's been 10 days...

since my birthday, that is... yeah, believe me, time flies so fast... school's getting to the point where it is just plain depressing, teachers heaping piles and piles of "I know you will do well" and stuff like that on you, otherwise homework which amounts to the same effect... and it's not that it is any different from last term, but then school's always been depressing anyway... the added pressure of homework seems to be making me crack...

with everything happening at whirlwind pace, it's honestly suprising that i can still have a good sense of what's happening around me... i'm feeling tired, or is that just my problems weighing on me? whatever... sometimes i just feel like dropping everything, with all the fakeness and pretense, gah...

maybe it's just temporary... who's to say... i'll yet see the end of this...

then life stretches out before me, and after a while... there just doesn't seem to be much relevance to it... maybe i'm just lost... maybe this, maybe that, bla bla bla...

saw an annoying quote today, i have no idea why, but i found it annoying... "Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional"... pfft, pain is only inevitable if you think it is what it seems to be, isn't it? after all, if everything is a perspective, nothing is definite, nothing more than the idea that no certainty can be found... but then that is a paradox...

if life was so dependent on luck, why are we so afraid to admit it? fear, fear of not being in control... after all, we all want to control things, don't we? I hate not being in control of my little sphere of acquaintances and friends... and yet nothing can be done, how can we ever have full control? we just keep wanting more and more...

i probably shouldn't be ranting so much over trivial matters, but it helps me think, so there. someday perhaps i'll look back at this and think: "what a fool i was, how young, rash, and obnoxious"... but then that'll be a while from now...

I think I'll go to sleep, my headache keeps bothering me, too much thinking these past few days... perhaps it is just better to forget it all... Nite~

School, again?

Yes, it is indeed amazing how quickly time passes. Like my extremely short holiday in Malaysia, and the even shorter stay in Singapore... I still did not manage to go everywhere >.< There are times when you wish you had that Click remote to slow-mo didn't you? And of course, to fast forward... But yeah, I suppose the greatest joy in life in to experience it, to let it go at its predestined pace, which everyone calls fate. Pah, I'm getting all crazy now... Must be the lack of sleep.

Heh, I'm still all sleepy even after its been a day since I got back to Auckland. Haven't been doing much except unpack, eat, and sleep... Lolz... And the worst thing is... school begins again, tomorrow!!! Argh! I can't say I'm ready to settle back into the routine of "studying"... Holidays can be such an annoyance at times...

Speaking of which, I keep forgetting to mention that I saw the movie "Match Point" awhile back... I must say, if I haven't said it before, it is one of the best movies of this year in my opinion. It has an extremely meaningful theme, and I absolutely love the suspense in the last 20 minutes or so... I really like the way Chris Wilton thinks in the movie, it echoes some of my sentiments towards life. And, trained like I was in English to pick out techniques, I like the opera accompaniment to certain scenes, it really supports the mood. Although I would say it was a little draggy at the start, but once you get into it, you must finish it, it is so riveting...

But yes, enough about Match Point. I should get back to sleep, still so tired... Goodnight, and ciaoz~

Happy Birthday Hui!!!

This will be brief, as I'm going out again... But, HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY HUI!!! Heh, now you can buy me my booze, lolz, just kidding =P ... But anyway, yeah, now you're of age, so go enjoy yourself at a few parties, aye?

Happy birthday to the creator of our manga depositary and our blog syndicator (links on the right)... Study hard, and don't forget to have fun =P ... Heh, perhaps I'm a bit too much of a drunkard... So yeah, gtg anywayz, cyaz!!!

Italy beat Germany?!?!

What a suprise, not that I support any football team, since all I watch the World Cup for is good soccer, and that seriously was something I didn't expect, Germany being trashed by Italy 2-0... I mean, how do you lose when it's homeground we're talking about? And here I thought Germany would stand a pretty good chance for winning, and they lost... But yeah, this World Cup has been full of suprises aye?

Man, idiotic people booked all the cheap rooms out, so I had to stay at the $30+/3 hrs rooms without a shower, and quite useless rooms at that - considering they were mostly partitions to nap; in some other establishment in the terminal, instead of the very much cheaper $57/6 hrs which had a shower included along with a nice room all for yourself... Grr... idiotic people!!! Screw you all!!! I just wasted an extra $20 thanks to you!!! Heh, guess I can't complain as well, after all, we're all passengers, but it ticks me off to spend money on useless napping PARTITIONS...

Lolz, not much to do now that I've finished looking everywhere in Changi... Perhaps I'll look for a new cologne for myself, was thinking of getting something different... Alright, that's all for now, I'm going to be so bored till when I fly, which is at like 1 pm, so it's about another 3-4 hours -_-"... Ciaoz~

=O finally in Singapore!!!

YAY!!! Finally here!!! Heh, such a boring flight, and it got delayed by 1 hr too... which made boredom worse... But at least I'm here, so it's only the overnight in the airport, followed by the flight, and I'll be finally in Kuching, Malaysia!!! Woohoo!!! Lolz...

Flight was sooooooo boring, and I couldn't drug myself into semi-consciousness with alcohol because air nz staff got smarter and started asking if people were above 18... I managed to get by with about 4 glasses of white wine, and a can of beer, but once I asked for vodka, they got suspicious... Must be because underage teens must love drinking vodka too much in NZ aye? Well, the heat is giving me a hangover-like situation, and I'm getting a real bad headache just standing here typing, even though I only drank alcohol like 2 hours ago... Need to get used to this weather aye? I'm sweating sweating and sweating even in the air-conditioned terminal, and even with cold drinks and all...

Alright, think I'll get me more cold stuff, and probably find a room to check in to and sleep the night away so I won't have to be pestered by airport security... Ciaoz~

Anyone wanna help me destroy Auckland Airport?

Murderous is only begins to describe my feelings at the moment. Idiotic Auckland Airport, idiotic staff! Not that I hate Auckland the city, but I just hate the airport now, like really badly. Right, my flight got delayed for the second time today. Not that I can blame them this time as well, since it was foggy, but helloooo, why is it foggy in the goddamn airport when there's not a trace of fog in the city? What kind of planning is that?!? I mean, seriously, put a bit more thinking into the location of the airport right?

And not only do you delay my first flight because they OVERSOLD my ticket, but in the second, stupid staff kept taking ages to reroute my flight when they CLEARLY COULD HAVE DONE IT FASTER, considering there were at least THREE other flights I could catch that day... But nooo, take ages to arrange it until I have to be on the next day... Pfft, annoying slow good-for-nothing buggers.

But putting these annoyances aside, there wasn't much to my last few days... Most of it was spent going back and forth from the airport, thanks to annoying airline services... And oh, I went to Dunc's place last night after church for a sleepover. It was alright, except that I had to leave at like 6 in the morning, so I ended up not catching any sleep, since we kinda went to bed at like 4.30-ish? Heh, Elliott came over too, and he brought some Kahlua, which would have been great with coffee, but yeah, it isn't that great drinking on its own. Then among the four of us (Jase decided to refrain, though I don't know why aye =P), we finished about two bottles of wine, although I probably had less than 1/3 of a bottle =P.

I have this dreadful feeling that my flight's going to keep getting canceled and rebooked until I basically can't go back for these holidays, which would majorly piss me off. I mean, seriously, you expect me to go back during school to remake my passport? Or third term hols? Fuck off, I'm not going to do that with all the studies I need to do! Even if I do get back on Wednesday afternoon, because I have to transit at Changi for like 18 hours... thanks to useless flight times again... I still would be rushed to complete my passport, considering I need to go to Singapore again to get my NZ visa transferred, otherwise travelling to Auckland would be such a major pain... *sigh* rush rush rush, would I ever get enough time to sit down and enjoy my little holiday?

I'm kinda sleepy, considering I just got back at the airport because they LOST my luggage, and had to take 3 hours to find it... And I haven't slept a wink since saturday night, so I guess I better catch up on my sleep aye, seeing as I won't sleep at Changi anyway... Ciaoz~

Freedom!!! And the van der Graaf generator!

Yes, freedom!!! School's out and I'm nicely enjoying my holidays, which are too short, sadly... Oh well..... Heh, got Excellence for my Stats time series internal, with my 2 page report, oh yeah... Beats the crap out of people who did 5 pages ^^ and I'll be overconfident once more and say I got another Excellence n my Bio internal, just because it's that easy... Did a 2 1/2 page discussion... hehe, I'm pretty sure I did more than necessary in discussing the relevance of isotonicity... But that's me aye...

Yes, and we played with a van der Graaf generator for ohysics today since our teacher didn't want to start a new sub-topic today... which was cool! Yeah, my hair's a little bit long, so it started standing in radial directions, much like the sea urchins if you catch my drift... But even better were the guys/girls with long hair, it was cool to see it... After a while, we even formed chains by linking hands... then we discharged the person at the generator, sending a nice shock to the girls at the end of the line, which promptly set them shrieking each time... lolz....

I got my turn too, but they kepy discharging me at all sorts of annoying bits, sending sparks off my hair, and my clothes, and yeah, it was really draining to be subjected to that, and after awhile it started to hurt especially when you get discharged repeatedly...

Going to Malaysia in 2 days and under!!! YAY!!! Heh, gotta go enjoy, ciaoz~

And I thought I was free...

Yeah, the irony of it all is even though my uni exam's over, I'm not free!!! ARGHHH!!!!!!! How stressful >.<>

Just had my english seminar today, which was a complete impromptu!!! With the exception of the half-hour preparation I spent making my OHT, which was not even close to complete... But yes, I managed to pull through and somehow end up talking for 20 minutes+, even though the minimum was... err... 7 minutes? Lolz.... And to top it all, I got Excellence!!! YAY!!! Heh, perhaps I'm being a bit too smug here, but I'm really happy!!

Physics test tomorrow, *sigh*, and then Bio internal, and then Stats internal, and to top it all, Stats assignment... Hate having to do reports about stupid time series, just because it's tedious... But oh well, =\ it's compulsory...

I'm going back to Malaysia this Sunday!!!!!!!! YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!! Hehe, I'm really crazy... I wanna eat all the Malaysian food I miss, kolo mee, laksa, belacan dishes, you name it all, here I come! Except for the dishes involving intestines, stomachs, kidneys, err... *backs off* Heh, though I'd admit I'll miss it a little being away from New Zealand and all that... Alright gtgz, ciaoz~

Weekend already?

Heh, before I know it, the week's over, and my assignment's deadline is depressingly on the horizon..... MONDAY!!!!!!! ARGHHHH!!!!!!! *panics* Heh, no I wasn't serious, but I probably should take a more serious thought to my studies instead of clowning around, considering that my mid-year exams gave me average results, which I personally find insulting. Well, insulting because I would have done better if I was more careful instead of making those blindly stupid mistakes, but oh well, what's done's done... And 'sides, I didn't do too badly... =)

I wonder if anyone remembers that song called Butterfly by sMiLE.dk or something like that... I heard it once not too long ago, and it hasn't left my mind since. Quite odd huh, how some things get stuck in your head... About 3 more weeks to me going back to M'sia, and I'm happy, and unhappy at the same time, I guess everyone is like that...


Went to St. Lukes with Thomas today for curry. Oh yeah, got my form class photo for this year... Not many additions, everyone kinda looks the same, and I'm at top centre, makes me feel great... Like some kind of overseer or crap =P Don't mind me, just rambling =P

Here it is:


You know, I sorely regret losing my old class photos from Lodge School... =( And to think it's actually going to be my very last year at school too... Sigh... Time sure does pass fast, and everyone grows so old, so fast... I wish we all could remain young forever, but I suppose I cannot dwell on the past anymore...

And back to my hopelessly depressing assignment... Finished 3 books in the last 2 days, each about 500 pages long... Not bad eh, considering they were rather dull and dreary... And even my English is getting older because of it... >.< Yeah, better finish the research report soon, and enjoy the remnants of my miserable weekend... Ciaoz~

Eh, too busy...

Yeah, I meant to actually make a post for quite some time, except that exams got in the way for the past two weeks... And since this week is exam free, I thought I'd blog again, but no.... I had to get a reminder from my kind English teacher that our research assignment was due next Monday, and I had done no research whatsoever!!! So, yes, hurriedly writing an entry before I go off to finish Dickens, and a few other "heavy" books that can only be described as overtly long and fastidious in giving useless detail...

More thoughts...

It's been awhile since I've last written, but then I've been busy with stupid assignment deadlines left and right, plus that stupid Workchoice Day, which we had to go to on tuesday. I'll go into more detail on that next time... when i upload the few photos I bothered taking then...

For some odd reason, I can't seem to stop placing myself in theoretical situations that don't seem to exist for myself. One of them is: what if I liked someone, but that person didn't like me back, and didn't even know? What would I do then? I thought and thought for quite a long time on this one... My answer is this: I simply would not tell, but rather I would just wait, and just be friends, if I already wasn't... Then this is where anyone reading this would call me stupid... I'll just continue being friends, because I won't have the guts to tell... Heh, sad, aint it? But when I think about it, it's what I'm pretty sure I'd do... And no, it's not happening now... so don't get any ideas and tell girls whom I'm friends with... that's the last thing I'd want happening -_-"

Heh, Friday was such a strange day, time seemed fast and slow all at the same time. There's times when I just felt so disorientated from the weird flow of time... considering I never really notice, like everyone else...

In case anyone hasn't noticed, this is a rambling post, which isn't meant to contribute to anything except clear my muddled head of thoughts...

So confused still >.<>


It's troubling... and yet soothing... isn't it weird how your mind is a living paradox?
And no, I'm not going emo... I'm just so very tired... What can you do, when nothing seems real anymore, when you don't know what to say, to think, to feel?

Perhaps it'll be much better to just sleep away the days...

It's all colliding together >.<

Yes, it really all is... I'm having exams next next Wednesday, (just to extend my sentence)... but you know.... strangely it just seems so unreal.... time just flies, and now I feel like I can understand the meaning of the phrase "tempus fugit"... Perhaps I should have taken my own advice... Ahh, it's too late to regret what has already happened anyway...

Sigh... so bored now... relying too much on Jase to divert myself from boredom, and the troubling thoughts that constantly follow... >.< Why... of all things? I'm so confused, sometimes I think it's a lot easier to just withdraw into myself, then perhaps I'd be numb... Wouldn't it be better?
I'm just so tired, I don't know what to do anymore...

I have to leave... Having a long walk... Ciao~ Maybe... who knows...

Just a thought...

As I sat down, this thought came to mind: "How well do my classmates truly know me?" I can't say I was able to answer that question immediately, but when I look around, observe, and make discreet inquiries, I find the answer: Barely.

Why is that? I have many answers for that... I live behind a fascade of falsehoods, each one built upon the other in such an intricate pattern of dependency that should one be revealed, the whole structure of security I hide behind would fall. But every good lie has some amount of truth, and so mine are also half-true. Not that everything I say is a lie, but some are, I'd rather have people not understand me sometimes. It saves me all the pain, all the sorrows of my years before...

But not all of it is just me and me alone. I notice that people all around barely even care about their friends and their peers. Oh, sure they are concerned, but we hardly act to actually do something, we only spectate, and watch as they flounder about in their misery. Not that this applies to everyone, I'm sure there are those who indiscriminately offer a helping hand, while for others, they will help those closest to them. I'm not excluding myself from this judgement too. I too, more often than not, wouldn't extend an offer of help to others. I'd rather sit aside and observe, nothing more. Perhaps that's why I never stay long in anyone's life. Perhaps that's why I have no one to rely on, even though sometimes I feel better off on my own, rather than rely on those that will inevitably betray you. But, who knows? Life's an irony, and it'll twist every word you say round the other way...

Don't mind me. Just walk on, I'm a foolish poor old pessimist, save your concern for those who truly matter in your life.

Wow... it's been awhile...

Yeah, it's really been a long time since I've been blogging.. Been up to nothing throughtout holidays, except go out with friends to watch movies, and yes, despite what people have been saying bout Scary Movie 4, I went ahead and watched it anyway... I thought it was pretty funny... especially with "Harro?" and "Tempura Sushi Sashimi..." as well as the Michael Jackson bit... LOL!

Haha, I also saw other movies, old ones, at Dan's house... We went to VideoEZY and rented some XD... it's fun... and we had no lectures during the two week holiday, so we had two whole weeks for the assignment!!! YAY!!! Lol, anyway, got my assignment back on Tuesday (the usual weekly one), and I got 40/40!!! WOOOOOHOOOOO!! Lol, it's not the first time, but I'm happy nonetheless...

Also had a uni mid-sem test worth 25% last Thursday... Gosh, it wasn't hard... but I can't believe I forgot how to find the Cartesian equation of a graph with a normal vector and a point!!! Arghh!!! And they asked the most stupid question: State the Intermediate Value Theorem... Lol, considering that I went over that one so many times because I noticed them including it in the 04/05 tests as well... it was almost a piece of cake...

You'd think that I'd be pretty free now wouldn't you? (I'm not talking to anyone in particular) I'm not... sadly... Whilst all the malaysian people in malaysia are off enjoying their ONE MONTH HOLIDAY, I have freaking exams in 2 1/2 weeks!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And to top it off, I have got Stats and English to finish by the next two weeks before exams start >.< bright ="P" bio ="P),">

I happen to be sitting in the IC (Information Commons, or Kate Edger Level Zero for MAX ppl) writing my blog as my sis and friends are doing their online chem and pharmacy tests (which i think is worth some single-digit mark out of 100)... And they're helping each other out!!!! But yeah, considering its online and open book, I guess friends count as open book as well... Lol... Anyway, I guess I've written a long enough blog for now... Maybe next time I'll put something which isn't a post...

Ciaoz then~

Photos...?

Lol... it's been awhile since I posted... I've been kinda busy... But, I finally got round ot uploading the photos I took weeks ago (hmm... more like a week ago... but yeah...) So here they are!!!

Here's Jase txting to *I wonder who.... ;)* It was on a Monday morning... so I'm sure I know who it was =P Lol... so fun to make it seem like I'm spreading rumours...

We had a shared breakfast instead of the usual English period... It was incredibly fun... I, for one, really enjoyed having the coffee =)

The food... for the shared breakfast of course... I got to it late... so some of it's already gone... =(

Here's a shot of my form class... Seen walking past (looks more like he's just standing up) is Thomas =)

Heh, Dan looking at my uni assignment... we always check our assignments on the day it's to be submitted, and change our answers round then... Last minute work rulez!!!

Heh, here's Carol during Chem doing something odd... I think someone made fun of her or something... really can't remember, it's funny though =)

Here's Carol taking a photo of the girl who looks very photo-shy... If you were wondering why I have so many pictures of Carol, it's because I was bored, and Carol, me, and the prefect, and Sam were the only ones not doing the Chem practical =P

Carol stole the chocolate Easter Bunny from some dude... How sad... and evil =P

Overview shot of my Chem class...

Lol... this shot was incredibly funny, Carol had no idea Sam was even there... Sam you stalker! So engrossed taking photos aye, Carol? I can't catch stalkers for you all the time ya know =P

K... that's it for know.... ciaoz!

Holidays!!!

Hehe, it's the holidays!!! Hahahaha, so happy school's out, =D ... Our headmaster retired this year, and we had some sort of farewell assembly for him from 1.30 to 2.30 -_-", and yes, the Prime Minister was there again (as always)... For any Malaysians who can't figure out why the PM would even visit the school, it's because my school is in her electorate region, and so she must naturally attend all important functions by our school.

I decided to start taking photos with my phone, but i forgot to upload them at the time I'm writing this blog, so... I'll do it later and put them up under an edit. Hehe, didn't do much today... At Chem, we were supposed to do some practical, but I got distracted, and started taking pics with Carol when she got her digit cam out... lol... And then someone brought a chocolate bunny along, so we broke it (actually, Carol did... we just contributed by helping to eat it)... then for Bio, we started watching the beginning of Sahara... which I've already seen -_-"

Rather tired now, probably going out tomorrow with Jase and Sara, so not going to be blogging tomorrow. I think I might take a little break and bum around all holidays... Should get a job aye? >.<>

Ciaoz for now.

P/S: I've decided to go monochromatic per post, since it hurts my eyes less...

Organizer at ready -_-"

Pfft... feeling lazy to write much, beyond the fact that I wanna rant about stupid homework... I HATE DOING HOMEWORK!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's a good thing my Bio test got postponed to next Tues, or I'll bloody wring my Bio teacher's neck... Hehe, probably not, otherwise I'll have to go to jail aye? Yeah, I had a Chem test yesterday... I think I failed... Heh, need to start working on Chem soon. Oh, had MAX yesterday too.

Well, MAX was it's boring usual self, and strangely, not so many insults. The highlights of the day:
1) Jase did a performing seal act!!! (you know, the clapping hand thing that seals do)
2) We finished the lecture 30 minutes early!!! YAY!!!
3) Tutorial was extended, and we only had 3 questions!!! So I went for a walk =P
4) I beat Jase in his assignment by 5 marks!!! (out of 40) And this brings it to a grand total of beating him by.... 5 marks!!!! YAY!!!!

Hmm, after MAX, which finished 30 mins early, so we finished at 6.30pm... Me, Sae, and Jase went over to some cafe at uni after going for a walk (forgot it's name again, think it's Slurp or something). I only vaguely recall us talking about going to city after uni one day... and going to Jase's place for a sleepover... Lol, and since Jase lives like far away near a forest, Sae was talking about camping in the woods (implying that Jase lived in the woods... Hah! Especially if you're reading this Jase, HAH!!!) Well, personally I don't really mind the sleepover thingy, but Sae is a girl (I think she is... at least... sorry Sae =P), and I think too that 'twould be strange if you were a guy, and you tell your mum that a guy and A GIRL is coming over to sleepover... it's just strange... don't you think, Sae? Well, maybe I'm the only one who thinks too much about what parents think... but it's rather odd... well, not as bad as just a girl sleeping over, but still...

Enough with yesterday... Today was absolute crap. We got more news that for English, I've got to do research for a bloody exam essay question, and write 4 pages worth of an essay. 4 PAGES!!! And I have to write it on Friday!!! To top it all, I've got to do my English research assignment, and my uni assignment, and scholarship, and rant rant rant blah blah blah whine whine whine mumble mumble mumble bitch bitch bitch... yeah... all that...

Sigh... after school me and Jase went over to St Lukes, and I got us a McD's sundae, since I can get 2 for $2 ^^, it wasn't so bad, and it was nice and cold, which was good for a hot day. Then we had to walk back to school, and that completely undid all the good work the sundae did in cooling me down... ARGHH, waste of a useless sundae.... Yeah, think I better start with some work, or go to library to get books for research assignment... Ciaoz~

P?S: I just remembered that my post title has no relevance to the post for today... So I better explain it... Since I/We/MAX people were thinking of doing something during hols or after MAx itself... we were talking of going to city... And somehow,the task of organizing gets pushed to me... Sigh... Just because I'm being nice doesn't mean I'll organize forever you know...

School SUCKS!

Sigh... it really does now... so much homework from English... Tied down with Stats and Chem tests on Monday and Tues respectively... what a great way to make my day -_-" ... and the weekend following...

Heh... wish I had something to do this weekend, well Saturday especially... I'm feeling so tired... and depressed... Sigh... Had a scholarship calc meeting yesterday... it got a little confusing towards the 10 mins, probably because the teacher started cramming everything... I hope stats scholarship isn't worse... although I think it's actually way worse -_-" ... and I don't like stats to begin with...

Hmm... usual day today, beyond the stupid boring Friday assembly we always have... I went to St Lukes after that with Duncan, Thomas, Jase, Chris, & Shane... Duncan bought Oblivion (Elder Scrolls 4), which only got out in NZ today or yesterday... how useless of NZ gamestores... then Jase and Shane left for home (why go to St Lukes in the first place if you walk back after you get here? lol...) Chris went to get the bus, leaving me, Tom, and Dunc all by ourselves... (aww...) Since we felt kinda hungry (Dunc had no lunch, I had barely any, Tom had a very healthy appetite), we got ourselves curry ^^ then Dunc ditched us (fine, he had a good reason too... since he had to be back). Me and Tom wandered around looking at music stores, then we left, and went our separate ways home.

I witnessed a very bad accident on my way back... Well, no one died... but a car got kinda screwed up... lotsa smoke... Kinda freaky...

Routine...

Sigh... life is pretty much routine again... for the whole week, nothing, go to st lukes instead of free period with Jase, do assignments on Sat, Sun, and Mon (sometimes even Tues)... go uni on Tues after school, hand them in, go for lecture, talk in tutorial, diss and be dissed... and it's starting to get really annoying... Sara's being a little over the top sometimes... I mean... I can take it being called gay sometimes in jest, but hearing it for like 50 times for just 2 1/2 hours is plain annoying... I mean... I don't even call Jase or anyone I know gay 20 times in 2 1/2 hours... And she should know that everyone has a limit... -_-" .... It's just boring now... Hmm... which reminds me... I forgot to pay for my uni fees >.< oops...

Yeah, then on Sunday nights I go to church with sis and her friends, look at pretty chicks, maybe talk a little, enjoy church service... Then go with sis and her friends for dinner, since my classmates are all too cheap/busy to go out for dinner with me (which is logical, I mean, if you get dinner at home to begin with, why go out and spend more?)

Sigh... as I expected, life is pretty boring once more, and there's nothing to do except disturb Jase all the time... It's pretty fun to disturb Jase about the girls he likes (whom I don't know, since he's evil =P and won't tell me)... but then he'll just go on and tease me about the girls I like (grrr) .... -_-"

You know what? Since he doesn't want to tell me, I probably should tease him about liking guys... I mean... think about it.... it'll be the perfect way to crack the shell ^^ you'd go like... "Why won't you tell me? Is it because they're guys?" Lol... I'm pretty sure anyone would crack under that much pressure... heh... ^^

I must be really bored, considering the fact that I find this entertaining... sigh... I honestly need to find something to do... maybe I should actually start chasing girls instead of just letting them by ^^ ... but then I'll just seem like a player... lol...

So bored, going to library to avoid my mum before she thinks of chores for me to do. Ciao~

Crammation...

Spent the whole of today cramming everything. Yeah, first, had to kinda stuff all of uni assignment into physics, so didn't manage to pay attention to some stuff about rotational inertia... Then had Bio, which sucked because I essentially had to reorganize all the data. Right after that, I had to cram studying for that stupid Chem test...

After all that, we went to uni (since what's in between is irrelevant); and it was then that life started to perk up. The lecturer was teaching differentiation, which was mostly common sense for 2 years already, and so me, Nithin, Daniel (he was probably paying attention anyway, but I'll incclude him still), Jason, and Sara (yes Sara the chick who called me and Jase a couple >.<) ended up talking to each other most of the time. Obviously we couldn't talk during lectures since there weren't enough people (40ish isn't enough, I'm thinking like 150ish and a big lecture hall). During lectures we mostly communicated via notes, like some ermm... retro version of MSN... heh.

Tutorial was the highlight of uni. Since it was differentiation and all that crap, we ditched the thought of doing it right away, and proceeded to talk. Yes, talk. I believe it was all very disturbing, but yeah, still kinda funny in a disturbing way. First, Sara had to go along and start talking about me and Jase again -_-", which is really disturbing... but yeah, you kinda know what it is... something about me secretly liking Jase, and Jase secretly liking me... which IS JUST SO WEIRD >.<>.<>.<.... ouch.... Then Dan had to go and talk about the elbowing war that me and Jase had. Well, some sort of elbowing war anyway. It started last week when we got a ride from Nithin's dad to uni, and Jase elbowed me, and I elbowed him back, and it all started until we got off at uni >.<... Anyway, it continued today as well, except that I ended up friction burning my arm due to Jase rubbing his arm against mine in a desperate effort to cheat -_-"... Since Dan was sitting on our left (yes, 3 people in the back seat), he obviously made some comment about it later in MAX, and he just had to portray it in like the most gay and disturbing way EVER.

I got my revenge though, because that made Sara decide to pick on him. I don't really remember what happened, but it went along the lines of Dan being a gay in secret, and being insecure, etc etc etc. Then we had a major topic change to Brokeback Mountain, and somehow Dan ended up being called the Brokeback Mountain Guy... lol.

By the way, Nithin was called "Cookies" by Sara, since he brought cookies to MAX on the first week. She wanted to give Jase a nickname, and she somehow had a weird notion in her mind, and decided to call him "Cream"... Now you can think of all the implications in those names... I mean, Cream alone is bad enough, but when you add Cookies to it.... >.<... yeah.... And so we ditched the Cream thing, not before I had quite a few laughs at it, and she decided to call him Dean, since it's his middle name... I can't really remember much now that I think of it, it's kinda like blurry and hazy... >.< ... I do remember it being crazy, disturbing, and kinda funny.

Moving on... Yeah, there's this crazy tutor in Tutorial that seems to pick on me, maybe because I offered him Pringles the first time... (maybe he's like allergic to it, I don't know >.<)... but yeah, ever since then, he'd always pick on me for not doing my tutorial work... Sara (she seems to have all these crazy ideas, doesn't she) asked me, and practically got the whole group, to make me do a kinda raised eyebrow + nod greeting (which is kinda gay if you've seen it)... Fortunately though, he never looked our way...

Time to go and do Bio research... Ciaoz~

Stupid Field Trip

As above, stupid Bio field trip. We spent $14 on bus fares alone I believe, since it's a public beach and all that... so we actually don't need to pay for entrance fees and all that crap. Really dumb field trip too, all we did was count stupid percentage cover of idiotic miniscule marine life like barnacles and more shit.

Useless piece of crap took a long time as well. By the time we were finished with 3 quadrat samples, it was lunch -__-"

We then had to provide our own lunches (cheap school), and then recopy the damn results, which took an awfully long time, since Dan got the results all over the place. And now I've got to do some shitty research for barnacles or something to write about... Gah! And top it with a Chemistry test, and my uni assignment.... >.< Stupid school keeps doing things at the wrong time. Idiots, the whole lot -_-"

Better get started with research.... ciao~

It's been a while...

Ya know, I just remembered that I had a blog I could turn to... Heh, this blog is kinda dying, ever since I've been busy trying to readjust to school life in NZ -_-" Plus the fact that I have extra lectures at uni makes it harder....

I'm kinda adjusted now, and school's pretty much the same. Same old faces, same old boredom. Same things that I do nearly everyday, which include bugging Jason as a source of entertainment ^^ It's rather interesting to see how a person can continuously give the same reaction over and over again...

Which brings me to uni lectures. It's rather dull, and I nearly fell asleep again last week. We learn basically advanced versions (marginally) to what we've learnt before in Add Maths. But yeah, sometimes interesting things can happen sometimes. The lecturers so far are known to make lame and dry jokes, although their comments about certain things in lectures tend to be funnier than their jokes. For example, the gay assymptotes. He never said that, but he did say a whole lot of things that can be taken to mean that: "the ones you don't want to meet on a dark night in MAX (the name of our course)" and "the non-straight assymptotes"

Some people are kinda nice, which is something different to the girls at my school, considering the vast majority of them are annoying. Nice, albeit a bit weird... Yeah, this chick called Sarah asked me and Jason last Tuesday after MAX, whether we were a couple.... -_-" I mean.... wow.... someone here really needs to study relationships a bit more. Do I and Jason look even remotely like a couple? But beyond that, she's quite nice herself, she brings snacks to lectures, which she shares with us, and we bring our own snacks to share with her (except Jason, of course =P, who just eats ours... Parasite.... lol =P)

I kinda miss Kuching now that I think about it... It was a really great holiday towards the end, all the gambling, all the late nighters, everything... sigh... But yeah, NZ isn't so bad anymore, since I have people to disturb ^^ And 'sides, I've noticed a few hot ones around recently... Maybe it's b'cos I decided to quit moping around... But yeah, it's a sad thing that I don't know most of them yet...

Heh, this is going to be my last year of school, since there's not much point staying for another (as if I'm going to be made prefect anyways)... So yeah, I'm probably off to uni next year... I think Jase might be coming along too... Heh, which may be bad for him, since he'd be so distracted by me (not, I'd probably start being serious during uni anyways)

In retrospect, it's really a good thing that anyone who reads this blog thinks it's dead... Now I get to post anything I like, and for the most part, my NZ classmates (who I rather them to not read, since they'd just incessantly bug me about anything I post in here.... like the couple thing, for one >.<) But yeah, school's really boring, and I have another weekly assignment due on Tuesday >.<

I'm apparently going for a really dull Bio field trip (to the beach, it sounds great, I know, but all you do there is count seashells). Hopefully it doesn't rain... And I'll probably just laze around and make up results like I always do for Bio anyway... Bio's full of crap here... You can just write random things and still get Excellence (for the most part, anything in NZ seems to be that way...) I think I'll go and have my shower now... Overslept today, so I'll have to go to church tonight, instead of now... heh.... ciaoz~

All That I Am

Thought I'll do something different today, since I feel so emo for no apparent reason...


I am the one who knows but is never known.

I am the one who is too afraid to ask.

I am the one who listens but is never heard.

I am the one who cowers in fear.

I am the one who utters not truth but falsehoods.

I am the one who never finds solace.

I am the one who loves but is never loved.

I am the one who you think a nerd.

I am the one who is but yet am not.

I am the one who could show you...

I am the one who has friends but yet is still alone.

I am the one who will always wait...

I am the one who seeks but finds not.

I am the paradox that is myself.