That Maroon 5 song is quite an addictive one. You know, the one they call: "Makes Me Wonder"

I still don't have a reason,
and you don't have the time.
And it really makes me wonder,
if I ever gave a f**k about you and I...
And so this is goodbye.

Give me something to believe in,
'cause I don't believe in you anymore; anymore
I wonder if it makes a difference;
it even makes a difference to try.
And you told me how you're feeling
but I don't believe its true anymore; anymore.
I wonder if it makes a difference to cry.
So this is goodbye.

Yup, thats pretty much the bridge and chorus of the song. But I kinda liked it. So there.

At World's End... and G UNIT!!!!

Yeah! Saw pirates of the caribbean last Thurs, and it was great =D Although I only got back at like 1am the next day... ><>< I hope I don't fail the exam 'cause of that...

I only got up at like 11-ish, which was like 5 hours later than I normally woke up. Needless to say, it was good. Except that I was still tired, even at 3pm. I left for campus at like 12. Met up with Allan, Jamie, Miles, and Tommy. Then we just chilled for a bit before dispersing to our own things. Oh, did I mention that Jamie mixed this random song using one of our BioChem lecturer's voice? There was this quick video clip with her talking about bioenergy and biofuels, so it went like: "Hi, I'm Amy McLennan. Most of you may already know me as your BioChem lecturer, but I am also in... G UNIT." LOL. Needless to say it was quite funny, with bits like: "My name is.. my name is... my name is... Amy Mc - Mc -Mc Lennan." And other bits like: "bioenergy bio-bio energy RESPECT" Heh, alright, I admit that it'd have been funnier if you had her as a lecturer, and you could kind of tell where the mixes started and ended. But hey, Jamie did it when he was sick, and only spent 30 mins on it. Plus, it was his first attempt at such a thing. So, kudos to him =)

And then, I ran into Richard again. Man, considering we have no classes in common except Design and Maths, I still see him everywhere. ><>< Thats one hardcore dude. At least he didn't seem too wasted today. Except that I probably did.

Even ran into Eddie and Faith, and I haven't seen them for quite awhile. I guess Friday was the day to bump into everyone. Hmm, didn't bump into Matt. Ah well. Alright, I kinda have to get back to studying for Maths and others, especially Design and Mechanics. I got 32/40 for my last 121 test, which was only 1 mark above average. Sucky... although I'm doing well in 140, so I hope it all works out nicely. Ciao~

soon, real soon...

Yes! I finally finished my report, now all I have left are two assignments and the construction of my truss. I got my 140 project (Part 3) back too, and I got 48.5/50... which ain't too bad, but Allan beat me by 0.5... ALLAN BEAT ME BY 0.5!!!! ARGH! Yes, I can be competitive, especially with 140, since its the easiest subject for me.

Exams are coming up too soon. It feels too close for comfort, I think I'll start studying this Saturday when I'm feeling better rested.

And I'm still kinda stuck on Bic Runga's songs... Its not my fault that sometimes I feel that I can relate to the lyrics...

when love calls, how sudden the fall;
but falling is the easiest part...

I kinda missed out on my 121 lecture today. I felt too hungry, and I went with Matt (or Mat? I forget how these nicks go) to Subway for a quick breakfast... Mmm, that roast lamb sub is quite good. But now that's two Mechanics lectures I've missed already... Ah well, I'll just have to put in extra effort then. Sigh. I don't think I would have concentrated with those hunger pangs anyway...

I had a little bit of a chat with Matt too whilst waiting for 211/Maths to start. It appears that he has some stuff in common with me, as is expected, but otherwise we're very much different. We're both Asian, (wow, big obvious observation), and to some degree, we enjoy cooking/food preparation, and we like cheeses, and perhaps some other foods I can't remember... oh! That green curries. And the similarities end about there. He's athletic, I'm very much less so, he dislikes coffee, I love it. I would spend lots of money on clothes, or technology, he would spend it on getting a new bike. I can't imagine how a good bike would cost more than 5 grand.... ><>

Hmm, yeah I'm actually kinda bored right now, which is why I'm randomly cataloguing this. Oh, did I neglect to mention I already knew him, sorta, from last year? He was in my MAX course then (accelerated maths paper taken in college/uni). So yeah, then I met one of his friends, Ash (I think that's his name, I really can't remember), who I realized did MAX with us too... Strangely enough, he's one of those whites who seems to have a lot of Asian friends. Like almost as if he belongs in an Asian posse. Except that the Asian group in question is hardly Asian in personality... Uhm, its kinda hard to explain.

I can't believe I just devoted two paragraphs to this. I'm sorry to any readers who are rolling their eyes in frustration at this rather mundane post. I probably should actually go to sleep. Ciao~

if i had you...

Man, that song by Bic Runga (title above) can reflect my mood so much at times. Its making me so very wistful...

Sigh, I shouldn't be getting so down. Exams are coming up, I can't afford to falter now. But you know, when you're not sure if there's ever a possibility, and especially when it seems that window is closing so rapidly on you, one can help but pause and try to enjoy the light it brings, even with bittersweet feelings.

That's how I'm feeling right now... Ah, maybe its just another lesson for me to have, perhaps it should stay as it was, just a brief encounter. One to illuminate my path, one to provide the brief spark to my life. And who knows, other such moments may come again.

'cause in the warm, warm night,
does nothing stir your cold, cold heart?
there's not a thing that I can do to belong...


Its not over yet, though, so at least I should just soak in the sunshine. Then it will all end, with the heart of winter. Mayhap another such brief spark shall keep me warm through the winter.
Why is it then that I act as if the whole matter was past? Perhaps I just wish to dismiss it, so I give up hope now rather than later. After all, things are easier to cut away when nipped at the bud. Even if there's a chance it may flourish and bloom. The slightest, most remote chance. But is it really worth it setting yourself up for the disappointment? I really don't know, I really don't...

lol

I got this text from one of my mates yesterday, I thought it was a good laugh, but not everyone found it funny... =(

Here goes:

Mongo is a little Zimbabwean orphan who walks 5 miles to school each day.

With your kind donation of just $2 a month, we can buy a whip and make the lazy cunt run.

LOL. Did anyone find that funny? Or am I just a little sadistic?

><

Eep... Somehow I knew that I should have just forged ahead yesterday and made that joke about me being huge when I had the opportunity with Richard? Why? 'Cause he just did that to me today... It somehow started with us comparing how big our hands were, and obviously it progressed to a joke on his behalf about him being huge. -_-" I so knew that would happen.

And Richard started teasing me again =( He introduced me to one of his mates (I think he's called Josh, my bad memory's muddling me) as Gay-briel... And then they double-teamed me >< That dude made some mention about a girl being called "Gay", and then added: "Not that it will make much of a difference for you" =O Evil evil people. Goddamn Richard...

Haha, apparently I was flirting with Oliver, or making gay passes at him without intending to... I don't know how Olie thought that, but he did. And I guess it has some credence, but its only very very slight... And you'd have to be stretching it a little to actually make it a pass. Maybe Oliver has a huge ego. Ah well, why do I have to have egoistic people for friends... >< Like attracts like I guess, but now I have no room for my own ego =(

I lost my house keys too, so I just wasted another $20ish making another duplicate copy, since it hasn't made its way back to the Engineering Lost & Found yet =( How sad, money wasted that could have been put to better use, like food or coffee =\

Alright, ciao for now.

ARGH!

I fucked up my mechanics test. Really, really badly... I can't believe how badly I did, considering I knew how to do EVERYTHING. Gah, and such silly mistakes too. Like integrating -t/6 wrt t. I wrote -(t^2)/3 instead of -(t^2)/12... ><>

But on another note, its over. And I did get 34/36 for my ENGGEN 140 test (BioChem) =D I can't believe they took one mark of me for my explanation of a chemical that inhibits ATP synthesis through the electron transport chain being used as a diet pill. I mean seriously, there's not much more to say beyond it causing people to burn more food/fat/whatever 'cause they don't get enough energy right? Stingy markers.

Heh, Richard has a tendency to say the most uhm, possibly disturbing things and yet remain completely oblivious as to the possible implications. Or maybe my mind's too polluted. We went to have butter chicken before MM2 (maths) began, and he got a slightly bigger portion than I did. He attributed it to me being already huge (ha ha ha...) and him being small. Well, the small bit was waaay before, but him saying I was huge went like this: "But Gabriel, you're sooo huge!"

Did anyone get that? Or was it just my dirty mind? I didn't say anything back to him then, but I did kinda chuckle, a little. In a non-suggestively non-dirty sense, that is, and he remained yet completely oblivious to it -_-" Maybe I should have said: "Damn right, I'm huge" (with raised eyebrows =P)

You know, the prefects at my old school have been bugging me to go to the school ball... I don't even remember when it is anymore... Probably around my birthday... I don't really feel like going though. Why? Several reasons:
1) They're like school people. And we have little in common to talk about these days. (Edit: Whoa, I just noticed that the previous sentence sounds so blond...)
2) They probably wouldn't care too much anyway.
3) I don't have anything to wear to the ball. Clubbing clothes don't count...
4) I'll be going by myself... Since no person in AU wants to go to a school ball. I mean, engineers would rather go to the engineering ball.
So, I'm just making excuses. But I'm kinda running low on excuses, so the next time someone asks me why I'm not going, I'll just say: "'Cause I want to bring a guy along?" I think that'd work well. Then Jase chipped in when I was randomly mentioning that and he suggested I say: "I can't find a guy from school to go with" Well, that ought to make them stop asking, I hope. And there really are no girls that I know from school that I'd go with anyway. The one predictable
thing about high school, is they're so phobic, in a sense. Its almost funny in a way. That excuse will always allow you to get away with going to any high school functions requiring a partner.

Yes, I say what I please as long as it gives me the desired effect. So what do I care about what people think? I am what I am, and I know what I am. (Dumb phrasing, gosh, I almost sound like 50cent *cringe* *shudder*)

Alright, I should get some study done, or at least my assignments done. Have to finish my truss design + group report by Wednesday, so I aim to get most of it done by the weekend. Then maybe I can play Two Worlds for a good bit. Till later, ciao~

P/S: I wanna watch Pirates of the Caribbean 3!!! And Zodiac too! Sigh, I've got to get around to asking someone to watch it with me, maybe I could tag along with Richard for Pirates 3, and I guess I'll organise an outing with school people for Zodiac...

Bomb Threat

Heh, as preposterous as it sounds, there really was a bomb threat at college again today... Was sitting with Richard eating sushi at the engineering cafe when these guys started hollering at all of us to leave. The reason? A bomb threat.

You know, I don't think anyone believed him, but since he was so insistent, we all just left anyway... Within the space of 10 minutes, police and the firefighters were there. Then the best part came, they closed engineering for the day! NO LECTURES! YES!

Then the down for me came really quickly. I forgot to get my gym gear out of my locker. Sigh, its going to be sitting there till tomorrow. >_< Oh, apparently engineering is only closed till about 4pm, but by then most of us have no lectures anyway, so it amounts to the same thing. And I can't be bothered hanging around till 4pm to get my gym stuff. Went off with Richard and took the Link (the bus that just goes in a loop), since he was going home. I was originally planning to go to Newmarket to do some shopping, but I realised I took the wrong Link, and getting to Newmarket would take too long, so I got off at the university library (funny eh? I caught it from the city and made one huge loop back to college). Then I caught the bus home, ah well.

I guess having that little break, sudden as it is, is always good for me. Everyone, including... dun dun dun, Richard, thought it was a nice change. Coming from him, thats a shock. You'd think that all he ever did was study, heh.

A'ight, I think I'll take a nap. Then study for the Dynamics test that's coming up this Tuesday... Ciao~

P/S: Apparently the Crazed Woman's a genius. According to this guy who works at gym, she has a Master's in Architecture, but she has a head injury or some sort. So she finds some redemption in my judgment, although I still stand by my opinion that she IS strange.

The Child

"Come". The voice beckoned. "Come and find me"

"W-Where are you?" the boy asked, teeth chattering as the wind howled around him.

"If you come, you will find me..."

In the darkness, a child shivered.
One with shadow, one with rain,
Eyes untrained to blinding fog.


"I'm coming to you, but I cannot find you."

"Just a little longer, just a little longer."

"A-Alright, wait for me. I don't want to be alone."

Relentless, unending, pure.
In wind was chaos, calling,
The child hesitated not.


"H-Help me. I can't go any further."

The cacophony of the wind was his sole companion.

"Why didn't you come? I tried to find you..."

Lost, desolate, forgotten.
Mocking, derisive, laughing.
The child moved never again.

justin's going back to christchurch...

Yeah, I met Justin today to give him back his beanie, and he told me that he hadn't been to a lecture for a long time... Apparently, he doesn't like it here, and he's going back to Christchurch when the winter break is over... How sad, that's one less person in Auckland I know. Otherwise, I spent the afternoon just looking around some clothes and shoe stores with him, along Queen St, and High St. I found a few items of interest, and well, I think I'll come back in a little while and buy them...

You know, Richard honestly wouldn't stop calling me Gay-briel. -_-" I've been advised to use some sort of shock-treatment on him by uhm, either making a gay pass on him, or taking a leaf out of one of his classmate's book, dry-humping him from behind... Personally though, I think the latter is a little too out of my style, and I shudder to even try to attempt it...

Ah well, its all good, I'll get him for it sometime later. Also, shock, horror! I sat with Richard in the middle seatings! Well, its just something, considering Richard has a penchant for sitting in the front, and me for sitting at the back. I guess a compromise is good, and I did manage to check my assignment answers with his. (Since he's such the genius -_-)

Met Carol for the first time in a few weeks today. She commented on how everyone at Engineering seemed so busy, which is kind of true I guess, considering how hectic the last few weeks have been... I spent the better portion of my one-hour break catching up with her and giving her some pointers on her course (she's doing Health Science aka PreMed). I kinda feel sorry for Jase while me and Carol were conversing though, since he pretty much got neglected, but ah well... His fault for following me everywhere in between classes. I guess he doesn't really hang around with anyone else anyway...

Went for lunch with Eddie and his significant other Faith at Oporto's as well... I should really get myself to stop spending money, and Faith was really really helpful. She said: "As if any of us would stop spending". >_> Come on, a little faith would help here. No pun intended.

Alright, I need to just finish one more truss and complete the analysis for both of them. After my little nap, or maybe dinner first, then a short nap. I'm extremely sleepy right now... Ciao~

That strange woman...

Heh, I'm incredibly sleepy today. But aside from that, let me tell you all about this crazy woman who I think is a student in Engineering (I don't know what year though)...

There is this woman in Engineering whom, if you pointed out to anyone who studies here, everyone would say was a little weird. Firstly, let me tell you about what she does in the computer labs. Our computer labs, although maybe a little small at times, has sufficiently comfortable chairs that can be easily moved. Instead of taking advantage of this to sit on it however, she apparently eschews the blessing that is the chair, choosing to instead kneel, YES, kneel, on the floor and do her work. This wouldn't be so strange if she didn't constantly make strange noises as well as shift forwards and backwards in an odd manner. She also makes an odd habit of asking people for the time, when firstly, the computers themselves display the time, and the labs also have clocks, and she has a watch strapped to HER WRIST.

Let me tell you something about Engineering students. Even from Day 1, it is pounded into our heads that we are the cream of the crop, the best that New Zealand has to offer (which, as obnoxious as it sounds, I would admit is partially true, considering that they would take in people with the best results, but then again, NZ's exams are easy...) Also know that as the best, the simple operation of a computer should be common sense, especially if you have managed to type in it, log in, download and print, and even burn a CD. Especially burn a CD, since that's relevant here. If you have managed to actually burn a CD prior to trying to load it into the PC's in the lab, how is it that you cannot find the CD drive? HOW?!? She obviously could not find it, and well... There's only so many places this elusive drive can be. Perhaps behind the monitor on that huge black box with a really obvious button that basically screams "Press ME and insert YOUR CD!"? Or how bout on the huge black box down at your feet? Okay, I understand that not all PC's are the same, but the concept behind each one is simple enough, and even grandmothers can locate this drive that she spent minutes searching for, before finally embarrassing herself by asking one of the staff, who gave her an odd look before pointing it out. Its hardly rocket science to me... I think the faculty should perhaps reconsider their entry scheme.

Not only that, but I heard from one of my friends (who I happened to bump into since she and I had no lectures). Well, she told me that our subject in discussion also is apparently a little too slack on personal hygiene, and tolerance for the senses of others at that. While my friend was at the labs, cheerfully completing her assignments and such, Crazed Woman walks into the lab and sits right next to her. That was fine with her, and she continues. Then, Crazed Woman takes off her boots. Now, all I can say is, I don't want to imagine the smell emanating from her feet. Needless to say, she wasn't wearing socks, and my poor friend could not take the smell considering it pretty much stunk up the row she was in.

My friend also mentioned something else. Apparently, Crazed Woman stuffs tissue down her shirt. Okay, I understand if woman feel flat chested, and so does my friend, but she adds that instead of being a little bit sneakier about it, she makes her shirt stuffing a little too obvious. As in, you can clearly see the lumps of misshapen tissue. And not only that, but you can also see tissue poking from the neckline, and I've been told that once, her stuffing fell out of her shirt while she was walking. Thankfully, she didn't notice, or what she'll have done next will probably have induced post-traumatic stress to any witnesses in the vicinity.

And oh! I neglect to mention her weird liking for occupying multiple seats. In the engineering cafe, which is a rather long and wide area, people are often found there socializing or otherwise doing work. She, however, has this strange habit. She will firstly, drag a table and a chair to the edge of the cafe to sit in the sunshine. Well, this isn't so strange yet, but... After somehow managing to fill up the whole table with her things, she will order a filtered coffee or something, and walk over to another table at the OTHER END of the place with her coffee and more things, and start having coffee there. So, she has just managed to occupy two tables on opposite ends of the area. Then, she begins to shuffle back and forth, shuttling her things back and forth from one table to the next, sometimes dragging additional chairs to her table in the process... Right...

Right, I know that bit awhile ago was a tad random, but I happened across it by accident... I swear >_> Reading one of Lionel's recent posts suddenly about him being, uhh... innuendo-ed made me kinda remember stuff.... Such as how I seem to meet people who keep giving me odd glance-stares (that sorta thing, you know, where they look at you, then look away, then look at you... and like the glances tend to be more than fleeting) And the more you look, the more they look back, and it just gets awkward... And oddly, hmm, now that I think of it, they're gay. Can't exactly explain how I know (not that I wish to be obnoxious or assumptive), but maybe I've got some sort of "gaydar" or something as they term it, lol... Or maybe I'm a gay magnet too at that. LOL. Ok, I need to give the ego a rest before it gets too big =P

I dunno, its odd. Then again..... I've also had a few people I know joking about me being gay >_> Heh, I don't know whether to be flattered or insulted at times with these sort of people. Sigh... I need a good romance-ish story (in a non-sappy way, maybe sad) to read. Maybe it'll help to occupy some time for me... And take my mind of thinking of things... Especially since I don't really want to think of some right now...

Soooo.... I've still got a BioChem project to do, and I'm blogging away like there's no tomorrow. So much for productivity... I've gotten quite a bit lazier since I came here...

Ah well, screw BioChem for tonight, I'll just chill and chat.

I'm Blue... no seriously

Take the Magic: The Gathering 'What Color Are You?' Quiz.

pensive

Yeah, I don't know whats with me, but I'm feeling peckish for coffee again...

I installed Vista Professional awhile ago... After all, its free for me, and completely legit too, so I guess I don't mind...

Does anyone know much at all about trusses? I'm doing a project where I construct a truss of hot-dog sticks, and I would love some input/advice on how I should strengthen my truss...

Been listening to this song by Michelle Branch recently...

Well, that's all from me now... Cinnamon Dolce Latte from Starbucks is delicious by the way...

Ciao~


chaque fois que tu t'en vas, je prétend que tout va bien
Michelle Branch - 'Til I Get Over You

FINISHED!!!! YUSSSSSSSSSS!

Just had to get it out of my system, I'm quite exhilarated, but I still have a BioChem project and another Maths assignment. Gah. At least Design's done for the moment....

It seems I'm one of the only few people who ain't going back to Kuching this year, again. Tis sad, tis so sad... Ah well, I guess I'm losing touch with most of them now anyway. Maybe I should have made an effort to stay in touch more, or then again, what good might it have done?

Meh, no point worrying about things like these. My brain must be warping from drinking again. Heh, that's amusing, drinking while writing out my design project. I hope nothings wrong with it... But I don't honestly think I was that addled anyway... So it should be all good...

Look at me, just rambling on and on. I should go get some sleep for today. I'm off. Peace.

P/S: I don't really understand what it is with Richard and him teasing me about being gay... Ah well, maybe its my name after all. Gay-briel... -_-" He amuses me enough as it is, so I guess I won't hold a silly grudge against him anyway...

Design project due tomorrow, I still have the report to write out. I can't believe I did most of the work on my own, and that my team's probably doing the same, despite it being teamwork... But ah well, as long as my tutor doesn't mind and I get it done, right? I only borrowed the concept drawings, cause I'm like the crappiest artist ever.

I strained a muscle at gym yesterday. It fucking hurts every time I laugh, cough, or stretch. Its annoying, I think I'll go to physio tomorrow and get it checked up. No proper sleep for 3 days in a row, and I'm glad for the holiday on Thursday that is Engineering Graduation. Apparently, engineering lecturers in Auckland Uni have like the highest graduation attendance among the rest of the faculties. Its a good thing, regardless, I get to sleep in or shop or study at my own pace. Maybe more sleep than not, but whatever.

Alright, back to my design project report. Ciao~


If I just breathe, let it fill the space between
I'll know everything is alright...
Breathe - Michelle Branch