More thoughts...

It's been awhile since I've last written, but then I've been busy with stupid assignment deadlines left and right, plus that stupid Workchoice Day, which we had to go to on tuesday. I'll go into more detail on that next time... when i upload the few photos I bothered taking then...

For some odd reason, I can't seem to stop placing myself in theoretical situations that don't seem to exist for myself. One of them is: what if I liked someone, but that person didn't like me back, and didn't even know? What would I do then? I thought and thought for quite a long time on this one... My answer is this: I simply would not tell, but rather I would just wait, and just be friends, if I already wasn't... Then this is where anyone reading this would call me stupid... I'll just continue being friends, because I won't have the guts to tell... Heh, sad, aint it? But when I think about it, it's what I'm pretty sure I'd do... And no, it's not happening now... so don't get any ideas and tell girls whom I'm friends with... that's the last thing I'd want happening -_-"

Heh, Friday was such a strange day, time seemed fast and slow all at the same time. There's times when I just felt so disorientated from the weird flow of time... considering I never really notice, like everyone else...

In case anyone hasn't noticed, this is a rambling post, which isn't meant to contribute to anything except clear my muddled head of thoughts...

So confused still >.<>


It's troubling... and yet soothing... isn't it weird how your mind is a living paradox?
And no, I'm not going emo... I'm just so very tired... What can you do, when nothing seems real anymore, when you don't know what to say, to think, to feel?

Perhaps it'll be much better to just sleep away the days...

It's all colliding together >.<

Yes, it really all is... I'm having exams next next Wednesday, (just to extend my sentence)... but you know.... strangely it just seems so unreal.... time just flies, and now I feel like I can understand the meaning of the phrase "tempus fugit"... Perhaps I should have taken my own advice... Ahh, it's too late to regret what has already happened anyway...

Sigh... so bored now... relying too much on Jase to divert myself from boredom, and the troubling thoughts that constantly follow... >.< Why... of all things? I'm so confused, sometimes I think it's a lot easier to just withdraw into myself, then perhaps I'd be numb... Wouldn't it be better?
I'm just so tired, I don't know what to do anymore...

I have to leave... Having a long walk... Ciao~ Maybe... who knows...

Just a thought...

As I sat down, this thought came to mind: "How well do my classmates truly know me?" I can't say I was able to answer that question immediately, but when I look around, observe, and make discreet inquiries, I find the answer: Barely.

Why is that? I have many answers for that... I live behind a fascade of falsehoods, each one built upon the other in such an intricate pattern of dependency that should one be revealed, the whole structure of security I hide behind would fall. But every good lie has some amount of truth, and so mine are also half-true. Not that everything I say is a lie, but some are, I'd rather have people not understand me sometimes. It saves me all the pain, all the sorrows of my years before...

But not all of it is just me and me alone. I notice that people all around barely even care about their friends and their peers. Oh, sure they are concerned, but we hardly act to actually do something, we only spectate, and watch as they flounder about in their misery. Not that this applies to everyone, I'm sure there are those who indiscriminately offer a helping hand, while for others, they will help those closest to them. I'm not excluding myself from this judgement too. I too, more often than not, wouldn't extend an offer of help to others. I'd rather sit aside and observe, nothing more. Perhaps that's why I never stay long in anyone's life. Perhaps that's why I have no one to rely on, even though sometimes I feel better off on my own, rather than rely on those that will inevitably betray you. But, who knows? Life's an irony, and it'll twist every word you say round the other way...

Don't mind me. Just walk on, I'm a foolish poor old pessimist, save your concern for those who truly matter in your life.

Wow... it's been awhile...

Yeah, it's really been a long time since I've been blogging.. Been up to nothing throughtout holidays, except go out with friends to watch movies, and yes, despite what people have been saying bout Scary Movie 4, I went ahead and watched it anyway... I thought it was pretty funny... especially with "Harro?" and "Tempura Sushi Sashimi..." as well as the Michael Jackson bit... LOL!

Haha, I also saw other movies, old ones, at Dan's house... We went to VideoEZY and rented some XD... it's fun... and we had no lectures during the two week holiday, so we had two whole weeks for the assignment!!! YAY!!! Lol, anyway, got my assignment back on Tuesday (the usual weekly one), and I got 40/40!!! WOOOOOHOOOOO!! Lol, it's not the first time, but I'm happy nonetheless...

Also had a uni mid-sem test worth 25% last Thursday... Gosh, it wasn't hard... but I can't believe I forgot how to find the Cartesian equation of a graph with a normal vector and a point!!! Arghh!!! And they asked the most stupid question: State the Intermediate Value Theorem... Lol, considering that I went over that one so many times because I noticed them including it in the 04/05 tests as well... it was almost a piece of cake...

You'd think that I'd be pretty free now wouldn't you? (I'm not talking to anyone in particular) I'm not... sadly... Whilst all the malaysian people in malaysia are off enjoying their ONE MONTH HOLIDAY, I have freaking exams in 2 1/2 weeks!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And to top it off, I have got Stats and English to finish by the next two weeks before exams start >.< bright ="P" bio ="P),">

I happen to be sitting in the IC (Information Commons, or Kate Edger Level Zero for MAX ppl) writing my blog as my sis and friends are doing their online chem and pharmacy tests (which i think is worth some single-digit mark out of 100)... And they're helping each other out!!!! But yeah, considering its online and open book, I guess friends count as open book as well... Lol... Anyway, I guess I've written a long enough blog for now... Maybe next time I'll put something which isn't a post...

Ciaoz then~