Truth be told...

Truth be told, I'm sick of this. Sick of you. No matter how much I try, I see you everywhere. You're inescapable, even if you don't know it. And as sick as I am of you, I can't help but feel a little down when I don't see you. Nor can I help brightening up a little when I see you. You see, you're like an addiction to me. The embodiment of my paradoxical feelings.

When did it all begin, I wouldn't know. Perhaps it was from the first day I met you. Perhaps it was later. I stopped caring since, I'm just waiting for the day when I'll be free. Perhaps my freedom will only come when I tell you. But that I cannot do. Some things should just never be told. Especially since I wouldn't want to devastate you, or trouble you. Rather than liberating myself at your expense, I'd rather see you happy and carefree, unknowing as we pass through the seasons of life.

I once thought it was merely a shallow thing, a physical infatuation. So I waited. But then I started seeing other things to you. And I was entranced.

All things in this world are governed by the flow of time. It might be so that, with time, I'll forget. Just as you may forget that once, I was a fellow student in a little campus in a little country with you, dreaming of a future where we were someplace else.

So, because I don't know when this will end, I shall say goodbye in advance. That way, I would never have to bid you farewell. Be successful in the path you choose, a leader with great power.

Here's a slogan spotted on an Abercrombie & Fitch t-shirt:

Sex Without Love Is Just Exercise.

Lol

Call me Damien...

That's right... My real name has been suppressed by Alastair, who decided that I looked more like a Damien than a Gabriel. He started calling me that since... Ah well.

My CHEMMAT test went well I think. I made one mistake out of the 50 questions, which kinda irks me, only because I could have gotten that right if I punched in the numbers into my calculator properly... Sigh... ah well, 98% is something I can live with I think. Same goes for my MATLAB test... I read the question wrong and picked the wrong answer, getting me 4.67 out of 5... Grr....

Engineering is such a small place sometimes. I met Henry, the current president of TANSA, which stands for some Taiwanese student association (I have no idea where the other A and N came from). It turns out he's in second year, doing Engineering Science. Which means he knows uhh, whats her name.... Uhm, Yun Mui's younger sister in Engineering Science.
Henry's girlfriend is in like 1st year Pharmacy, and I got to tell her a lot of random stuff about her study path. Such as... her subsequent exile to the hospital campus, Grafton from second year onwards. The joys of pharmacy workshop practice, and the pains of going through pharmacology, ethics and many more papers. Muahahaha. And of course, telling her that she should have done Optometry since optometrists earn much more than pharmacists.

You know something though... I actually didn't have to go to campus today, considering that I skipped out on my only lecture for the day, which was apparently really, really, dull and easy anyway. Ah well, that'll probably be the only time I skipped this lecture. I had fun today besides.

If any of you have free time, check out Weird Al Yankovic's Polkarama on YouTube. Its really great. Its a medley of his parodies on songs.

Dan's

Wow, what a busy night. Went to Dan's at 1:30 to meet up before heading off to mini-golf. Ended up helping him set up the spare house for the party, moving couches, the TV, the barbecue, a table and chairs, and so on. Well, Chris came along halfway so he did a fair amount of it too.

Mini-golf was actually fun. I met one of Dan's old mates Gary, who's pretty cool. Me, JiWin, Tim, Jason (Jason Michael), Alex, Chris and of course Dan played mini-golf, since the rest were catching the school rugby game and stuff at the time. It was pretty fun, I'll say. I didn't do too badly, considering it was my first time with mini-golf. We all managed to hit the ball out of the preset course several times. JiWin was superb at that... He managed to hit one that flew right past Chris, narrowly missing his face, and it got lost in some really thick bushes. All good, we found another one in some other bushes nearby... Heh, I think everyone loses their golf balls in the bushes. Alex broke his putter as well. How he did it I have no idea... But aside from that, it was all good...

Unfortunately for us, it was raining the whole time, and the rain didn't seem to be letting up either. Yes, we did play mini-golf in the rain. Still good though, even though whacking the ball around was slightly harder. Considering that no one would be insane enough to be sitting outside in raining weather, we got the barbecue fired up and started bringing cooked food into the house. It was around this time that Adil, Malcolm, Roberto, and Jason (Drake) showed up. Tim had to go back early, sadly... And we definitely had waaaaay too much beer. Aside from Dan's 40 or more beers, I bought another 15, and Gary bought 12... And we had a few people who were driving, and a few who weren't drinkers... So... well yeah, we had tons of beer, needless to say.

I thoroughly enjoyed myself though, even though I can't say I remember what I was doing. I do remember playing poker, then cards, till like 4:30 in the morning... And well yeah, I only got two hours of sleep this morning. I couldn't get back to sleep, made a bit of noise shuffling through the house and woke up Roberto. I think after that I pretty much woke up Chris, then Dan woke up too. Ah well... We were all sleepy. And we all cleaned up, the hardworking people that we are... And we still had uhm... 20 or so bottles of beer left over... So I say that was a pretty decent effort on our part, we reduced it by two-thirds. And I had a bottle of Jagermeister, which I only had a shot or two of before it mysteriously vanished. According to Dan, it was finished... I had no such recollection of it being finished... But ah well...

Considering it was Dan's 18th (well, an informal one), I would have thought people got him presents. Only me, Malcolm, Adil, and JiWin got him stuff though. I got him an Abercrombie a& Fitch shirt (which I wanted for myself, but ah well...), and Malc and JiWin gave cash, more or less. Adil gave him a hockey ball. Apparently its an inhouse joke that Dan steals hockey balls from the other schools during matches, and they always end up with more balls than they started with. Oh dear...

I'm sorta sleepy, hence the really rushed post. And well, I need to get back to studying for my CHEMMAT test, which is... tomorrow. Same goes for my MATLAB test. Wish me luck... I think I'll crash now...

palabras de elogio

Hehe, I got complimented for my coat again. It seems everyone who sees me in my coat starts complimenting it for some reason. Along with my scarf, if I do decide to wear it. Which I did today, since it was all windy and wet and cold. Not that I'm about to get a case of overblown ego from this, but it is nice to be praised once in a while.

Studying for the tests are going along nicely I guess. Dan's birthday party is coming up soon, this weekend... So I think I should really get him a gift tomorrow. And probably contribute to the alcohol stockpile =D

I need sleep... Been getting like 5-6 hours every single day for the past week. Night...

Argh!

I've got three tests next week!!! That's 3/5's of my subjects!!! *panics* Uhm, yeah... Aside from that...

I had quite a bit of fun today, ended up only going for an Electrical lecture and that was it. Short and simple, although the lecture was putting me to sleep. We were learning number systems. You know, binary, octal, hexadecimal, and decimal. The joy... It was more than enough to make me stop paying attention and nearly fall asleep. I resorted to attempt poking Alastair with my pen, which he effectively countered by snatching my pen off me. And putting it into his empty water bottle, and it got my pen slightly wet... =( Evil.

But ah well, 'twas all good. I later used him to jump the queue for sushi during lunchtime. Hehe. Then I left to go to Dan's. Oh yes, its his 18th today. I even went with him to Dressmart to find him a pair of shades. I don't remember what sort of shades we got him. I don't wear them anyway, I think I look like an idiot with them. And I even got myself another shirt from Hollister. Well, yeah, since I wanted another one of the exact long sleeve that I had, just a different colour.

We even went to Pak n' Save to get some beer for this coming Saturday. Somehow I don't think we have enough, so I might just go and get some spirits to supplement it. Wouldn't want a party where we have enough of everything but alcohol eh? I should be getting back to study.... There's just way too much to get done now. I should get sorted for iron-carbon phase diagrams tonight, hopefully...

Alone at the windowsill,

With my chin resting on my hand.

I watch the rain that doesn't stop.

I'm all alone by myself today.

Ah, its rather mysterious.

Just remembering about it,

Makes me a kind person

Its just like honey,

That spreads sweetly in warm milk.

That smile melts my heart,

Yes, its my prized honey.

"HONEY - Chihiro"

Have you heard "Painter Song" by Norah Jones? Its an awesome song. I don't know why, but I like it so much.

If I were a painter
I would paint my reverie
If that's the only way for you to be with me

We'd be there together
Just like we used to be
Underneath the swirling skies for all to see

And I'm dreaming of a place
Where I could see your face
And I think my brush would take me there
But only...

If I were a painter
And could paint a memory
I'd climb inside the swirling skies to be with you
I'd climb inside the skies to be with you

Hah, so many random things happened today, I'm actually having trouble coming up with a post name for it all. I started my day by snoozing for 30 full minutes, which resulted in me missing my shower and breakfast. Damn. Well, I did wash my hair at least so it wouldn't feel like a dead weight, but I had to rush... Then I got to campus 20 minutes early. Irony indeed. I might as well have eaten breakfast before leaving. Oh well, I decided that I'd get a latte and breakfast anyway. So off I went to POD cafe, when well, I saw this dude studying off the ELECTENG 101 coursenotes. Well, wouldn't have been anything out of the ordinary, but he seemed a little older than most first years to be studying that. So well, yeah, I was waiting on coffee and breakfast, so I stared. Discreetly.

Apparently not too discreetly, since he looked up after a while, and I got caught unawares. And then he greeted me with a nod. I was kinda freaked after that, and just left for philosophy. Haha, all good though, I figured out who he was 5 minutes after when another one of my mates greeted him. Apparently, yes he's like 25 and doing Engineering, after doing a Philosophy degree. Talk about random. And oh, his name is James. We did end up talking later in the afternoon just before I left, and he apparently did a Health Science degree too. Insane...

Anyway, point aside. Philosophy was dull, dull, dull. Apart from a random clip which was used to show how the argument that was presented could be contradicted by using another example. Our argument was that the woman said she would not leave her pet behind if it was feeling peekish. Our counter-example was that a lolly monster (yes, a lolly monster) could come and take her away. And they actually did play a video clip of that. Sadly, it was just a man in some weird costume and mask dragging off the woman, but still, it was pretty hilarious. I did leave after about 1.5 hours, since well... 2 hours of PHIL back to back, well, yeah, you get the picture.

Met up with Richard, Alastair and Rupert just before CHEMMAT, and so we all sat together. David came a little later, but well, the lecture hall was really full, so he was sitting at the aisles. (Yup, we had two streams of CHEMMAT, but a lot of the people assigned to the earlier stream for 8am always come to our stream, the retards.) Not much happened, with a few exceptions:

• Alastair got his highlighter, an orange one, and made a nice fat stripe on Rupert's cheek, causing Rupert to rub his face furiously in an effort to get it off.
• Rupert took paper off Alastair and tore it into little bits, you know, confetti-like, then subtly placed them on David's hair.
• Rupert asked me for confirmation that there were no orange marks on his cheek. I couldn't tell, since his cheek was already reddish then, and he threatened to hurt me if marks were there. Alastair said he'd protect me though =P
• David figured out that a multitude of little bits of paper were nesting themselves comfortably in his hair when he tried to scratch his head. He was not pleased, I think.
• I got reminded of what the lecturer was talking about, little granules of the strengthening alloy phase being likened to little pieces of paper. Then I realised how nerdish I was.
  

I don't think much happened in the lecture after, ELECTENG. I think my brain turned off. At some point later, however, I was in the computer labs helping someone do their MATLAB project. Or rather, I got roped into it. At first, I thought it'd be a quick thing, so I sat on the desk and leaned back till I could see the monitor/type, if you get the gist of it. Eventually Richard came along, and told me to stop posing. I then told him to stop staring. Then he started talking to, uhh, I forgot his name. I then borrowed his CHEMMAT textbook of him, and nearly forgot to return it to him when he was leaving. Or rather, I completely forgot, and he was asking me for it. Whoops.

Did I mention that Bizzy, Busy, (its a nickname, so I have no idea how he wants it spelt) has this odd tendency to tell me strange things? Such as, "I love you, Gabriel". Yeah, he told me that like everytime I met him, which I found amusing. Of course, I said stuff like: "Aww, love you too." Richard looked freaked out. I think he might be a little phobic. It would be fun if he was. Phobic people are fun to freak out. Its sad, but hell yeah, its fun. Which reminds me, there's a homophobic dude in first year, and well, everyone who knows him, or nearly everyone, enjoys making fun of him; either by hitting on him, or doing things of almost homo-erotic nature near him. Suffice to say, his reaction is amusing. Maybe we're just sad.

I fell asleep on the bus, twice, on the same bus ride. And I even nearly missed my stop. That would not be cool, but I am really tired. I would sleep now, but I've got to study for my PHIL test this Friday. Gah. At least I have no exams I guess.

I bleed it out, digging deeper just to throw it away.
I bleed it out, digging deeper just to throw it away.
I bleed it out, digging deeper just to throw it away,
Just to throw it away, just to throw it away.

OASIS test

Heh, I did my OASIS test today, and.... I got full marks! Yeah! Well, it was technically an online test, so it was very very easy to cheat, but I didn't cheat, one bit. Honest, cross my fingers. Well, I did get Richard to double check my answers, but I already did it on my own by then, so even if I submitted it, I'd have gotten everything right.

Speaking of Richard, yeah, I managed to drag him along with me during the test. Well, more like Bizzy (I can never remember his full name) was begging me to come along to help him, so Bizzy dragged me, and I dragged Richard. And then as soon as we got in, people started well, flooding me with requests for help. I then started to put my wonderful brain to use, and redirected them al to Richard. Muahaha! Well, Richard only ended up helping Bizzy, since he was obviously better than me at electrical, and I just checked that Bizzy was doing it right eventually. He got full marks anyway, for the record.

Oh yes, after I pointed out Richard to Melissa, she called him exactly what I call Rich in jest: "Genius". And he looked up! HAH! A conversation then proceeded like this:

Rich: Well, thats what he calls me all the time, eh?
Melissa: Oh, I'm sorry, I really didn't know your name anyway.
Me: His name's Richard by the way, but he likes being called genius.
Rich: You're a dick, Gabriel.
Me: Come on, Rich, you know you like being called that.
Rich: Yeah, I do.

Man, someone has a huge ego eh? Lol. That was random.

Made two new friends, well three today. I met, or rather, started chatting with Angela and Margaret during my workshop for my Technical Communication paper. They're pretty interesting for Civil engineers. (Yeah, I got dumped into a Civil engineering stream, since first years generally don't do a second year paper). We managed to finish all our work within one hour, which was all sweet. I also met Alistair after that, although I technically knew him by sight already through Rupert and Jack. He was doing his MATLAB project and also his design project. Apparently he knew Jamie too, and through Miles (mutual friend from school), and he met Miles randomly at a party. What a strange coincidence. And we're all in Engineering as well, heh.

I'm still feeling a lot like crap right now, but at least I'm kinda better already. Just weak, I guess, and my nose is blocked, and I have a sore throat. But otherwise, I'm pretty much alright. I'm a little behind in my MATLAB project eh? Some people already finished theirs, and I'm feeling competitive. Its already been out since Monday. So I want to be done with it as soon as possible, preferably by Wednesday, although that'll be a bit tough. I'm off now, ciao~

sick.

Spells of weakness. A sore neck, back, and shoulders. Skin that feels hot to the touch. Inability to solve simple problems. Lethargy.

Yes, I'm sick again. This is annoying. The worse time to get sick, with a test tomorrow, another test next week, and work piling up. I guess I did have it coming to me though, with overexerting myself with less than 6 hours of sleep on weeknights.

I'm off to catch some sleep. Perhaps I can squeeze in 11 hours tonight. Can't afford to miss out on my lab. Ciao~

Silence is golden, but I think its gonna kill me now.
Everything I've seen never seems to fail me now.
No one told me that the world could fall through, yeah.

In between this am I gonna find a way,
to defeat this living inside yesterday?
I'm alive I think its time to live like I am,
am I ever gonna find it,
am I ever gonna find it,
am I ever gonna find out?

Damn, I have no idea why this Lifehouse song is stuck in my head. My favourite song for the day.: "Am I Ever Gonna Find Out".