if i had you...

Man, that song by Bic Runga (title above) can reflect my mood so much at times. Its making me so very wistful...

Sigh, I shouldn't be getting so down. Exams are coming up, I can't afford to falter now. But you know, when you're not sure if there's ever a possibility, and especially when it seems that window is closing so rapidly on you, one can help but pause and try to enjoy the light it brings, even with bittersweet feelings.

That's how I'm feeling right now... Ah, maybe its just another lesson for me to have, perhaps it should stay as it was, just a brief encounter. One to illuminate my path, one to provide the brief spark to my life. And who knows, other such moments may come again.

'cause in the warm, warm night,
does nothing stir your cold, cold heart?
there's not a thing that I can do to belong...


Its not over yet, though, so at least I should just soak in the sunshine. Then it will all end, with the heart of winter. Mayhap another such brief spark shall keep me warm through the winter.
Why is it then that I act as if the whole matter was past? Perhaps I just wish to dismiss it, so I give up hope now rather than later. After all, things are easier to cut away when nipped at the bud. Even if there's a chance it may flourish and bloom. The slightest, most remote chance. But is it really worth it setting yourself up for the disappointment? I really don't know, I really don't...